Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Making A Name (Part I)

Respect... Find Out What It Means To Me

It's quite a fair assumption to say that everyone in the universe except for me:

(1) Is stupid.

(2) Is ignorant.

(3) Doesn't know their ass from their elbow.

For example, CrazyKinux's blog banter contest just came to an end yesterday and I triumphantly checked the list of winners to see what I had won. I glanced at the list of six winners. Then I took a better look. Then I really rubbed my eyes and stared. All of those boring, stupid, generic and poorly thought out responses being compared to my original, clever and entertaining one and I had not even been given a single spot in the list? Ridiculous. These judges wouldn't know talent if it it burrowed its way into their skull and took a shit on their cerebellum.


No matter... Surely we can find some intelligence and kindness in another part of the Eve community, right Penny-Arcade/Goonswarm guys? Right? Ehh... maybe not so much. I try to partake in a simple discussion in a calm manner and I am attacked, berated and insulted. Me! The most celebrated, successful and awe-inspiring individual in the universe today and they dared to take that tone with me.

Enough is enough. If I am not being given the respect that I deserve then I will simply need to eradicate every alliance, corporation and individual that does not recognize my rightful place as the king. One-by-one I will hunt you down. You will beg for mercy, you will offer me riches and you will admit your mistakes but in the end you will still be destroyed. Prepare yourself. Spectre is coming.

First Things First

The Merch Industrial guys and their Goonswarm friends were not going to be let off for their poor treatment of yours truly. I loaded up a Taranis and set a course for deep inside of Delve. I was going to wipe their pitiful little alliance off the face of the map and then we would see who was laughing. I would keep a log of every wonderful minute of it...

15:17 - Project: Rape Delve commencing.

I am leaving our station in Gulmorogod. I have realized that I forgot nanite paste. I also have no armor repairer on my ship and I don't even have the skills to use a small bubble. Who cares? I don't need all of those crutches.

15:31 - Flying through highsec is boooring. Why does the entrance to 0.0 have to be so far away? The Amarr Navy just fired a shot at me as I was launching off a gate... I am adding them to my list of groups who will be annihilated during this campaign.

15:35 - One of my corp-mates asks what I am up to. I let him know what is going down:

[15:35:07] Spectre3353 > goonswarm made fun of me on their forums
[15:35:12] Spectre3353 > so i have to go and kill their alliance with my taranis
[15:35:25] bernard mckrill > poor bastards
[15:35:30] Spectre3353 > they wont even know what hit them
[15:35:33] bernard mckrill > invoked the wrath

15:47 - I have arrived at Kaira, the final empire system and I am preparing to enter nullsec:

[15:47:11] Spectre3353 > well here we go
[15:47:24] Spectre3353 > into querious
[15:47:35] Wensley > good luck
[15:47:51] Spectre3353 > who needs luck when youre talented, skilled and good looking
[15:48:08] Wensley > no-one. which is why i wished you luck
[15:48:31] Spectre3353 > fair enough

16:05 - I have traveled through Querious unmolested. It was relatively quiet. I just arrived at a system named SKR-SP and am asking some Goonswarm acquaintances about the area I have just entered:

[16:06:44] Venda > I wouldn't suggest going anywhere near Delve.
[16:06:48] Spectre3353 > too late
[16:06:52] Spectre3353 > ah here we go
[16:06:54] Venda > If you're a neut in our space.
[16:06:55] Spectre3353 > soverighty GoonSwarm
[16:06:59] Venda > You will be shot.
[16:07:03] Spectre3353 > thats the goal
[16:07:14] Venda > /emote blinks
[16:07:21] Venda > Then by all means.....come and bring it.
[16:07:22] Spectre3353 > i am planning on solo'ing most of your alliance in a taranis
[16:07:27] Spectre3353 > i hope you will not take it personally
[16:07:33] xXxSatsujinxXx > lol
[16:07:34] Spectre3353 > i also forgot a repper and nanite paste but i figure i can overcome that
[16:07:40] Venda > I hope you don't mind losing your taranis.
[16:08:01] Venda > I don't mind looting it. =D
[16:08:03] Spectre3353 > you sir are the one who should be fearing for your life
[16:08:26] xXxSatsujinxXx > rofl

I check my scanner and see a Rorqual towards a cyno... alone! This is it. I am about to solo an industrial capital ship in my Taranis! My heart is pumping when I realize I was not scanning with the proper filtering enabled. I am about to land on a POS with about five-hundred guns defending it. I land and warp away getting to only glance at the Rorqual behind the POS shields as my ship speeds away. Sucky.

[16:11:13] Venda > Big talk for someone who needs Sovereignty explained
[16:11:53] Spectre3353 > is it just goonswarm or everyone in 0.0 that has a complete lack of a sense of humor?
[16:12:15] xXxSatsujinxXx > its a rule of 0.0 unfortunately...
[16:12:23] Spectre3353 > ive noticed
[16:12:28] xXxSatsujinxXx > rule #1 - no fun.
[16:12:29] Spectre3353 > i feel like eve becomes not fun in 0.0
[16:12:33] Spectre3353 > it becomes serious business
[16:12:42] Venda > 0.0 is seriouz bizniss
[16:13:18] Spectre3353 > so is there like one hub or hq system for goons or does it depend on which corp youre looking for
[16:13:27] Spectre3353 > where could i go to find merch industrial guys?
[16:13:45] xXxSatsujinxXx > lol
[16:13:57] xXxSatsujinxXx > just head for NOL- and see what happens
[16:14:01] Venda > Delve is not for mining.
[16:14:02] xXxSatsujinxXx > qy6-
[16:14:05] xXxSatsujinxXx > 49-
[16:14:11] xXxSatsujinxXx > any major system
[16:14:22] Venda > You might not want to run into the AAA gang in the NOL region atm
[16:14:39] Spectre3353 > my entire goal here is to perish as stupidly as possible
[16:14:44] Spectre3353 > so dont worry about directing me into a bad situation
[16:14:48] Venda > um
[16:14:51] Venda > then go to NOL

To NOL-M9 I will go. I set a course and head on my way.

16:23 - I have landed in the system of UHKL-N. I see an Abaddon on scan and immediately warp to the first belt in the system list. Lucky day! I land directly on the pilot named "vvasya" and begin scrambling. He launches drones and cycles his lasers but I easily destroy the drones and dodge his shots. I am pouring on every bit of DPS I can push out of my Taranis but it is not even close to enough to break his tank. I have no choice but to try some other method of "winning" the engagement.

[16:23:44] Spectre3353 > drop 50mil in my wallet and ill let you go before my gang gets here
[16:27:44] Spectre3353 > look friend, i have all day
[16:27:46] Spectre3353 > either you pay or you stay

He continues firing his guns and his ship is flipping around in a bizarre fashion. What a weirdo.


[16:28:51] Spectre3353 > yea thats definitely working... youll probably hit me soon

I sigh and realize that I have exhausted all options and a large chunk of my ammo. I turn off my scrambler and warp away, leaving vvasya with his ship and all his money intact. He never responded to anything I said and I am now wondering... did he think I was a rat?

17:41 - I am chasing an Ishkur and a Gallente Navy Comet around one of the systems very close to NOL. I am starting to get a really bad feeling about this.

17:45 - I follow the Ishkur and Comet into PR-8CA, only one jump away from NOL. I am greeted by a Stiletto, Vagabond, Cerberus along with several other ships and a large number of drones. I take a deep breath and attempt to warp... and I make it.

[17:45:50] EVE System > Channel changed to PR-8CA Local Channel
[17:46:45] Jaegarn > :D
[17:46:48] Spectre3353 > could you please point me to the nearest IHOP
[17:46:50] Sashok Dreikin > ?????????
[17:46:54] Spectre3353 > i was told there were pancakes?

There are fifty pilots in this system and I am not quite sure how many are sitting on the NOL gate as it is far out of scan range. I no longer am sure if I want to go through with this.

18:22 - I decide to set a course for home instead of NOL. I seem to have vastly underestimated the damage I could cause by myself in a frigate. I need to come back with friends.

18:29 - I arrive back in empire space via the system of Sakht. Dirty Amarr lowsec. Disgusting. This isn't over...

To Be Continued...

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Lots Of Stuff

Thrasher

I made a slight detour last week from my training of Amarr vessels in order to pick up the basic knowledge needed to equip and operate small Tech II projectile weapons. This addition adds two formidable ships to my ever growing list of frigate-sized armamant which is currently made up of most Gallente frigates, most Amarr frigates (too bad they suck) and now a couple Minmatar frigates. While the Rifter is easily the most popular frig in the game for pirates and quite cost-efficient and effective, I've found myself drawn instead to the Thrasher.

There are lots of generally effective frigates but the Thrasher is in a class of it's own as the only really generally effective destroyer. The Cormorant makes a good special purpose sniper, the Catalyst makes a great suicide ganker and the Coercer reprocesses well into minerals. The Thrasher however with its good range, damage, speed and slot layout means that it can be fit in a number of ways that makes it well-rounded and flexible enough to use as a solo or gang ship for PvP outside of just special circumstances. I have put it to some small tests so far and up to this point I am very happy with it's performance. The only downsides are the fact that seven Tech II guns to fit on a ship puts its cost considerably above a Rifter and that when overheating all those guns you pretty much get three cycles before the heat generated by all of them pushes everything to nearly offlining.

The fit I am currently flying:

[Thrasher, Shield Tank w/ Neut]
Damage Control II
Gyrostabilizer II

1MN MicroWarpdrive I
Warp Scrambler II
Medium Shield Extender II

200mm AutoCannon II, Republic Fleet EMP S
200mm AutoCannon II, Republic Fleet EMP S
200mm AutoCannon II, Republic Fleet EMP S
200mm AutoCannon II, Republic Fleet EMP S
200mm AutoCannon II, Republic Fleet EMP S
200mm AutoCannon II, Republic Fleet EMP S
200mm AutoCannon II, Republic Fleet EMP S
Small Energy Neutralizer II

190 DPS at optimal, 6795 effective hitpoints, pretty much cap stable with the neut off and able to move at 1800 m/s before overheating. I do not currently fit rigs but when the rig changes are deployed I have more than enough powergrid left to fit some projectile weapon rigs to up the DPS even further.

Heimatar/Sinq Laison

Well over a month ago we decided to make a temporary corp move. Aurohunen, Mara and the Lonetrek region in general has become very blobby. While we can handle blobs, these ones have just become so unpredictable and unable to ever provide a fun fight that it simply became frustrating. Enemy pilots would sit for hours in belts and on stations waiting for us to engage so that their gang of battleships could jump in from a high security system and blob. Large groups of ships would sit outside our station just waiting for someone to make a mistake and get ganked. All of this we can handle just fine except for one caveat: 99% of these folks are positive security status. Already outnumbered and outgunned, we have timers and sentries against us in every situation.

For now we have moved into the Heimatar region very close to Amamake. It is still blobby for sure but things are considerably more consistent, predictable and a much larger percentage of the population has the balls to be negative security status and allow engagements on a more even ground. It has also led to a resurgence of us flying smaller and more agile ships to avoid the gatecamps and faction warfare blobs. Different but a great change of pace so far. One day we will go back to Aurohunen for it will always be our home but right now we are enjoying the fresh air.

Eternal Perseverance

When I first started my career in the universe of Eve, I was based out of a highsec system named Jel. Bordering Jel was the notorious and dangerous system of Egghelende. Constantly in Jel local you would hear stories about gate camps on the way into Egghelende and how meandering or loitering in that lowsec system was a recipe for certain death. On more than one occasion I ran into the very pirates that populated and controlled the system and indeed it was not a safe place to be for a newb like me.

Fast forward to today and I found myself occasionally getting invited to fly with the very corp that I was once terrified of. Skilled pilots and generally pretty nice guys. Funny how things change.

Megathron

Amamake and the surrounding region is very dangerous and as a result we have been sticking to mostly smaller and more agile ships when practicing our trade. It has been a while since I have really broken out anything big for a fight but the past week a number of opportunities presented themselves that were only appropriate for some good old fashioned remote repping battleships.

Python Cartel vs Some-Newbies-In-Geddons


Python Cartel vs Some-Big-Frigate-Blob

Python Cartel vs Some-Disorganized-Dumbasses-Who-Had-Half-Their-Fleet-Flee-And-Had-Sentries-On-Their-Side-God-They-Sucked-I-Mean-It-Was-Barely-Even-A-Fight-Really

Considering it has been far, far from my priority, my battleship skills have become pretty acceptable. Even with named guns I am able to push well over 1000 DPS in optimal range and including drone DPS on paper. The actual fit I am using at the moment though for our RR battleship groups:

[Megathron, Buffer Gank]
Damage Control II
Energized Adaptive Nano Membrane II
1600mm Reinforced Rolled Tungsten Plates I
1600mm Reinforced Rolled Tungsten Plates I
1600mm Reinforced Rolled Tungsten Plates I
Magnetic Field Stabilizer II
Magnetic Field Stabilizer II

100MN MicroWarpdrive I
Warp Scrambler II
X5 Prototype I Engine Enervator
Medium Capacitor Booster II, Cap Booster 800

Anode Mega Neutron Particle Cannon I, CN Antimatter L
Anode Mega Neutron Particle Cannon I, CN Antimatter L
Anode Mega Neutron Particle Cannon I, CN Antimatter L
Anode Mega Neutron Particle Cannon I, CN Antimatter L
Anode Mega Neutron Particle Cannon I, CN Antimatter L
Anode Mega Neutron Particle Cannon I, CN Antimatter L
Anode Mega Neutron Particle Cannon I, CN Antimatter L
Large Coaxial Regenerative Projector

Berserker II x5

About 900 DPS and a 90,000 EHP tank. I am strongly considering throwing Trimark rigs on which will boost the EHP to around 117,000. I prefer the Berserkers over the Ogre's in most situations as I find they are actually able to catch and damage battlecruisers and even some cruisers where as Ogre's really only shine in an up close battleship-only slugfest. Sometime in the next few months I will be adding Large Hybrid V to my list of skills to train and this Megathron should be come considerably more deadly.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

My First Rifter (Sort Of)

I love my Taranis and my Vexor and my Ishtar but they say that variety is the spice of life. For this reason, on my last trip to purchase ships I threw a Rifter into my holds along with everything else and hauled it on home. It was an afterthought really but today when glancing around I decided to fit it up and give it a go. Unable to use Tech II small autocannons is a bit of a disadvantage but I could still handle some newbs in frigates or maybe even a poorly flown interceptor in a fight. I fit my ship up with whatever I was able to scrounge up in my hangar and stepped back to admire the extremely generic fit on my extremely generic ship:

[Rifter, Fuck This Ship]
Damage Control II
200mm Reinforced Rolled Tungsten Plates I
Small Armor Repairer II

J5b Phased Prototype Warp Scrambler I
X5 Prototype I Engine Enervator
Cold-Gas I Arcjet Thrusters

150mm Light Carbine Repeating Cannon I, Republic Fleet EMP S
150mm Light Carbine Repeating Cannon I, Republic Fleet EMP S
150mm Light Carbine Repeating Cannon I, Republic Fleet EMP S
E5 Prototype Energy Vampire

I undocked and did the usual rounds until I arrived in my favorite system of late, Egghelende. A system with an absolutely wonderful and constant stream of newbs flowing through, I did my usual scan to see which dummies still had their names on their ships. "tazzster's Catalyst" stuck out at me and I tried my usual tricks by inviting the sixteen day old player to join my fleet. Fortunately for me, he took the bait:

[19:40:32] Spectre3353 > you missioning??
[19:40:41] tazzster > yes

I warped to him with the intent to poke his poor destroyer to death but landed at the Jel gate and realized that he had just left system. Damn! I continued with the social engineering to convince him to return to Egghelende. I would not rest until he let me have my way with him and his ship:

[19:41:24] Spectre3353 > cud u help me with mine real quick?

[19:41:43] tazzster > give me min let me get other ship
[19:41:50] Spectre3353 > k thanks!

[19:44:56] tazzster > how new are u
[19:45:14] Spectre3353 > 2 weeks
[19:45:32] tazzster > how good of equip u have
[19:45:43] Spectre3353 > eh just stuff i got off sum rats
[19:45:49] Spectre3353 > i prolly need better lol

[19:46:34] tazzster > oh and i am in a megathron

The drool was literally pooling up in my lap as my jaw hung open. A newb in a Megathron was almost too good to be true to me. I really didn't want to screw up the opportunity to solo a battleship in a Tech I frigate. Come to daddy, tazzster...

[19:50:32] tazzster > be right there

[19:52:45] tazzster > jumping to u now

After minutes of anticipation and keeping up appeareances his Megathron actually warped into my pocket of space and I almost shit myself in disbelief. Was this guy for real? How does someone fall for this? I locked him up, opened fire and got into a comfortable close range orbit to see if I would be able to break his tank with my relatively low DPS.

[19:53:50] tazzster > seriously
[19:54:43] tazzster > bad idea buddy

Bad idea indeed, but not for me. I began biting into his shield very, very slowly but realized after two full clips that I could not break past the halfway point. He was obviously boosting his shields and not only could I not break through but I was already halfway through all the ammo I had brought with me. I didn't want to open this up to being anything other than a solo kill but I had no choice and began begging over several communications channels for anyone who could assist. After being ignored by some and offered help from Jaxxon Voers of the Bastards who was dozens of jumps away, one of my corpmates finally began responding and headed over to help. At this point tazzster had been scrambled for nearly 20 minutes and had been firing at me with an assortment of weapons and medium drones. I managed to kill every one of his drones and repair through all the damage, something that I never would have been able to handle in my Taranis. For the first time I was thankful I was in this generic Rifter with it's longer range guns and armor repairer. What a hell of a first kill this would be for the ship I had been badmouthing for months.

Le Sac finally landed to assist in his Arbitrator and after a beating through what was a pretty large buffer he was destroyed. I opened a conversation and attempted to ransom the poor guys pod:

[20:19:44] Spectre3353 > 50 million ISK for your pod
[20:19:46] Spectre3353 > you have 30 seconds to pay up
[20:20:13] Spectre3353 > 10 seconds
[20:20:16] tazzster > i will hunt u to ext u fuck

With that he cut off the conversation, we podded him and my nearly 45 minute ordeal was finally over. I checked the ships killmail and realized why I had been unable to take him on myself. Even with with his poor newbie skills it is going to be tough for any frigate to break through two 1600mm plates, two large shield extenders, a large armor repairer and a large shield booster. With a contented sigh I turned to warp when he re-initiated communications again:

[20:23:23] tazzster > u have 24 hre 150 mil and or 4 of our corp will declare ware and pd kill every one of u
[20:23:32] tazzster > repeadedly
[20:23:40] tazzster > u just hit an owner bud
[20:23:44] tazzster > shitty way
[20:23:50] tazzster > catch would have been fine
[20:24:04] Spectre3353 > good
[20:24:10] Spectre3353 > i would appreciate it if you would declare war on my corp
[20:24:20] Spectre3353 > because then we can attack all of you and your newbie friends without sentry fire or timers
[20:24:22] Spectre3353 > thanks!
[20:25:01] tazzster > rest assured we will and we will obliterate u i happen to be the weakest corp aww i feel for u
[20:25:22] Spectre3353 > no youre right i am pretty scared
[20:25:27] Spectre3353 > i hope you dont bring another tech 1 megathron
[20:25:33] tazzster > can care less
[20:25:39] Spectre3353 > you seem to care quite a bit
[20:25:42] Spectre3353 > crying and declaring war
[20:25:44] Spectre3353 > wah wah wahhhhhhhhh
[20:26:00] tazzster > kids wow
[20:26:55] Spectre3353 > this is the best tears i think i have ever seen

Let it be a lesson to all of you wannabe pirates out there. Flying a Rifter can get you OBLITERATED by badass sixteen day old pilots. I am awaiting his corporations massive retaliation. I am terrified to say the least.

NOOO MY MEGA NOOO

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Remove You

CrazyKinux has been doing the blog banter thing now for several months but I have never posted a response to any of the topics before. Why are things different this time around?

(1) I really want to win a keychain because that sort of thing would make my day. It is really about time I replaced my eight year old "Hello Kitty" one anyhow as it's nerdy and a keychain about an internet spaceship video game would be considerably more mature.


(2) I immediately knew exactly how I wanted to respond to the topic and I am very opinionated about this one.

The topic for this edition of Eve Blog Banter is:

"Last month Ga'len asked us which game mechanic we would most like to see added to EVE. This month Keith "WebMandrill" Nielson proposes to reverse the question and ask what may be a controversial question: Which game mechanic would you most like to see removed completely from EVE and why? I can see this getting quite heated so lets keep it civil eh?"

What game mechanic would I want removed from Eve? That's easy! So without further introduction:

Fuck All Of You

"Keep it civil?" Come on now. The mechanic that needs to be removed completely from Eve is the ability to login. The thing that would make Eve step off the precipice from "Good" to "Perfect" would be if CCP finally got the balls to removed players from the game. Just for a minute imagine how this would affect the landscape of the universe:

(1) Peace and Quiet:

Everywhere I fly and everywhere I go I hear idiots. Babbling over every communications channel like a bunch of four year olds. Whining about one thing, spouting gibberish about another. My brain can't take it anymore and I have to imagine that the poor space itself can't handle it either. We all need a break from it, a permanent one. I got your back Siseide, Dantumi, D7-ZAC, Malkanen and J155545. If we could only prevent people from existing in the universe you would be able to continue on in your peaceful and noble existance. Soon we will be alone and the only voices I hear will be the ones in my head telling me that I have to murder my neighbors dog ASAP because he is actually the Devil in disguise. I'll get you Spot... just you wait.


(2) Pollution and Litter:

You people just don't care about the beauty and nature surrounding you. I land in one system just to see ten drones abandoned in a corner. I jump into another to find twenty-five jettisoned cans floating next to a gate. Debris from shipwrecks, abandoned stations and even frozen corpses. Let us not even begin to talk about the CO2 emissions from all the ships! Does no one have any concern about how we are raping the vacuum that nature has spent billions of years cultivating to be totally devoid of any matter? Every time you fill that vacuum with anything you are completely throwing off the balance and ecosystem that had been thriving and refining itself for longer than you can even begin to fathom. Way to be a bunch of inconsiderate assclowns. The universe would only be better off without you leaving your droppings everywhere you go.

(3) Real Life Productivity:

Let's stop with the role-playing for a minute here (because I normally RP hardkore and to the max when I blog). Do you all realize that Eve is a game? Tens of thousands online at once with some of us spending way too much time online doing something that means nothing. A lot of us even spent a good portion of offline time reading stupid ass forums and posting stupid ass blogs about stupid ass video game shit. Imagine if you spent all of that time doing something productive? If we had pooled our time together into something useful we probably could have cured Cancer, resolved worldwide poverty and traveled to Neptune to meet the super-sexy-all-female-race-of-super-aliens-with-four-breasts. Right now people are suffering and a number of us are missing out on alien sex because we ignore real life responsibilities and problems to fly internet spaceships. Disgusting and embarassing. You should be ashamed.

Conclusion:

It is hard to imagine that anyone is going to come up with a better blog banter submission than this so please just contact me in game or via email when you need my information for the Hoodie. If possible I would really prefer the keychain as well but that is a discussion we can have more in depth in a week.

People (and Eve players specifically) are a virus. We are a plague. We destroy and devalue everything we touch just by existing and removing the ability for us to login would make the universe of Eve into an Utopia of incredible proportions. Well at least until CCP ran out of money thanks to lack of subscriptions. To that I say... stimulus package?


Other Blog Banter #9 Entries:
  1. Diary of a Space Jockey, Blog Banter: BE GONE!
  2. EVE Newb, (EVE) Remove You
  3. Miner With Fangs, Blog Banter - It's the Scotch
  4. The Eden Explorer, Blog Banter: The Map! The Map!
  5. The Wandering Druid of Tranquility, "Beacons, beacons, beacons, beacons, beacons, mushroom, MUSHROOM!!!"
  6. Inner Sanctum of the Ninveah, Kill the Rats
  7. Mercspector @ EVE, Scotty
  8. EVE's Weekend Warrior, EVE Blog Banter #9
  9. A Merry Life and a Short One, Eve Blog Banter #9: Why Won't You Die?
  10. Into the unknown with gun and camera, Blog Banter – The Hokey Cokey
  11. The Flightless Geek, EVE Blog Banter #9: Remove a Game Mechanic
  12. Sweet Little Bad Girl, Blog Banter 9: Who is Nibbling at My House?
  13. One Man and His Spaceship, Blog Banter 9: What could you do without?
  14. Life in Low Sec, EVE Blog Banter #9: Stop Tarnishing My Halo
  15. Cle Demaari: Citizen, Blog Banter #9: Training for all my men!
  16. A Mule in EVE, He who giveth, also taketh away?
  17. Dense Veldspar, Blog Banter 9
  18. Morphisat’s Blog, Blog Banter #9 – Randomness Be Gone !
  19. Facepalm's Blog, EVE Blog Banter #9: What a new pilot could do without
  20. Memoires of New Eden, You're Fired
  21. Kyle Langdon's Journeys in EVE, EVE Blog Banter #9 Titans? What's a Titan?
  22. Achernar, The gates! The gates are down!
  23. Speed Fairy, EVE Blog Banter #9: Down with Downtime!
  24. I am Keith Neilson, EVE Blog Banter #9-F**K Da Police
  25. Ripe Lacunae, The UI… Where do I begin… (Eve Blog Banter #9)
  26. Clown Punchers, EvE Blogs: What game mechanic would you get rid of?
  27. Estel Arador Corp Services, You've got mail
  28. Epic Slant, Let Mom and Pop Play: EVE Blog Banter #9
  29. Deaf Plasma's EVE Musings, Blog Banter #9 - Removal of Anchoring Delay of POS modules
  30. Podded Once Again, Blog Banter #9 - Do we really need to go AFK?
  31. Postcards from EVE, 2009.07.02.00.29.06
  32. Harbinger Zero, Blog Banter #9 – War Declarations & Sec Status
  33. Warp Scrammed, Blog Banter 9 – Never Too Fast
  34. Ecaf Ersa (EVE Mag), Can a Tractor Tractor a Can?
  35. Thoughts from an Accidental Minmatar Revolutionary, EVE Blog Banter #9 - Aggression timers, WTs and Stargates
  36. Mike Azariah, I don't put much stock in it...
  37. Rettic's Log, Blog Banter: Overview Overload
  38. A Sebiestor Scholar, [OOC] EVE Blog Banter #9: Slaves
  39. Diary of a pod pilot, [OOC] EVE blog banter #9: Because of Falcon
  40. Roc's Ramblings, Blog Banter #9 – Taking Things Slow
  41. The Gaming-Griefer, EVE Sucks, But I Love It: The Memoir of a Masochist
  42. Letrange's EVE Blog, Blog Banter #9: Bye Bye Learning Skills
  43. Lyietfinvar, Remove that monopoly
  44. Sceadugenga, Blog Banter #9
  45. Industrialist with Teeth, EVE Blog Banter #9

Friday, June 26, 2009

Standing On The Shoulders Of Girls

Dwarfs standing on the shoulders of giants (Latin: nanos gigantum humeris insidentes) is a Western metaphor meaning "One who develops future intellectual pursuits by understanding the research and works created by notable thinkers of the past."
In this case the giants just happen to have boobs. Our friends over in the Hellcats corporation have come into the spotlight thanks to a recent IC report. As a result, the universe has taken notice of a group that has transcended the social norms to excel at the most hardcore of lifestyles. It is thanks to this success that I have decided to stand on their shoulders and follow their example by making my corporation a bastion of encouragement and success to an often maligned and pushed-around minority of peoples. The Hellcats have made it okay in the public eye for a female pilot to engage in the same activities and random acts of violence as anyone else... by why stop with just girls? For the entire existence of existence, one group has had it worse than any other:


MEN

So without further introduction, I bring you The Python Cartel, the first corporation exclusively for men. No further women will be allowed and all current female members will be expelled (Kerblamo you will be removed by the close of business today). In addition, I have drafted up a new logo that personifies our corporation and spaceship flying males everywhere:


A picture (or in this case a logo) is worth a thousand words. Soak it in men because the light at the end of the tunnel has finally appeared. We are here for you.