The universe is a big place. In order for all the denizens of New Eden to keep up with each other, there are many different communications tools on the universal nets (or as I like to call them, the Interwebs). There are other pirates and pilots who post logs of their encounters and daily situations and there are also forums for like minded pilots to discuss a variety of topics. One of these forums I occasionally visit, the Crime and Punishment forum, is a wretched hive of scum and villainy where pirates can congregate to discuss their activities. Today on this forum, I put some intimate details about the pirating I have done for the past few weeks including a list of all the solo kills I have amassed. Frigates, destroyers, cruisers, interceptors, stealth bombers and more... I sat back and awaited the wowed responses. Would they think I was the greatest pirate ever, or simply the best of my generation? What transpired was totally unexpected... insults? Laughter??? They claimed that my kills were not impressive and even laughable!
If my achievements weren't amazing, does this mean there is someone else out there that can do better? I began doing searches on the Interwebs, trying to find some record or log of a pirate who was more badass than myself and came upon a doozy. I began reading the stories of a pirate named Kane Rizzel who had done incredible things... he had been part of gangs that destroyed carriers and even solo'd a battleship in a Blasteranis. I glanced over at my friend "Tranny Taranny" down in the hangar and felt ashamed. I have not even soloed a battlecruiser in my interceptor!
I stood up from my Interweb console, slammed my first into my hand and screamed:
"This will not stand!"
The one other pilot in the hangar lounge stopped in mid-sip of his coffee and gave me some sort of weird Elvis eyebrow look. I gave him a determined look right back and stomped off confidently to board my vessel. If the pirates in the community did not believe that I was their king, I was going to have to prove it to them. I needed to go on an epic journey to find myself. To do something great. To prove to all of New Eden that I was a man to be feared. At the end of this trip, all of the pod pilots in the universe would know the name of Spectre (or Walter G Plonkins if you're going by my given name).
The Journey Begins!
So I set off from Aurohunen and set my course planner to the very system that Kane Rizzel had described as being his home, Eifer. It sounded like easy prey in giant ships roamed there in flocks like sheep in a field and I wanted some lamb chops on my plate tonight. This trip would also bring me near several of my favorite out-of-area hangouts including Old Man Star, Hevrice, Egghelende and Amamake so I vowed to pay them all a visit on my way through as well. I began my trip and jumped through the first couple systems, looking for someone to warm up my killer instincts. Ten jumps later I was still unable to find any targets, almost out of hot cocoa and wondering if I should just turn around and go back to my home station for bed. Instead I tried to keep motivated and continued on down the path to my first destination, Old Man Star.
As I jumped into OMS, I was disappointed to see almost nothing on scan except a few Ishtar's. This was the place where I had seen my first ever solo kill and it held a special place in my heart. I continued on through Aeschee and into Hevrice, still having not seen a bit of action. Hevrice is the stomping grounds of another pirate I very much admire, Ka Jolo. He has incredible stories about taking on four opponents at once and emerging victorious and destroying battlecruisers in nothing but a trusty Taranis. Perhaps I could conjure some of his good luck in this system and come up with an amazing kill or four. I began to scan around and found a Catalyst destroyer ratting in a belt! Surely this was a veteran pilot in a fully rigged and faction fit destroyer that I would have to struggle against at all odds. I warped in, scrambled, webbed and unleashed hell... he was dead in a few moments and I nabbed his pod. I opened a channel with the two week pilot and requested a ransom of 1 million ISK for his freedom.
Newbie Catalyst> f*ck off
I sighed. Same response I always get. I podded him and went to dock up at a nearby station. This journey was not going as planned. Tomorrow would be another day and I was going to find that holy grail... I just knew it...
To Be Continued...
Bubbling to victory in Tower Control (5-2, Tri-slosher) - In Tri-slosher versus Slosher, no one wins. But I'm apparently not convinced of this, so give it another go. Okay, I'm convinced. I probably ought to be co...
6 hours ago