Friday, September 12, 2008

Sad Pirate Fundraising

I am taking time today away from the usual broadcast scheduling to tell you about a group of people who desperately need your help. Pirates have been around for trillions of years and without them, the universe would have remained a boring, safe place. They have helped pillage, rape, steal, destroy and grief countless millions. Without them, life would be boring and you would all mining Kernite in belt 1-1 in safety (and who would want that?)

The pirates desperately need your help now more than ever. They are poor and sad and cannot even afford to buy themselves a new Thorax after they keep fricken losing them every day now. This fundraiser is being selflessly posted here by me, so that I can help fund the adventures of pirates all over the universe!*

*NOTE: All proceeds go to Spectre. He will share nothing with anyone else because no one else is important.

The fundraising contest will last one week and one week ONLY. Simply transfer as much ISK as you would like in game to 'Spectre3353'. Put 'Pirate Fundraiser' as the subject/reason and you will have done a great deed for a great group of people! You may even have a chance at winning one of these fabulous prizes:

1st Place: A short story written about YOU and posted on this blog! How exciting!!!!!!

2nd Place: I will name every ship I fly after YOU for the next month! Awesome sauce!!!!!!

3rd Place: You will recieve a Hallmark card with an Eve oriented Haiku written by ME! Wowee!!!!!

Just remember that every bit of ISK you donate helps to save a sad pirate somewhere and NOBODY likes sad pirates. Seriously. Nobody.

P.S. Yes, I know I am a sellout. Screw off (and send me money please).

16 comments:

wensley said...

Hey man, good luck with the fundraising. I don't have many ISKies to spare, I'm afraid but I'll see if I can send a little something your way.

Who8MyLunch said...

Its sad to see little girls exploited by pirates like that... But then again if it helps you make money, at least you get something out of it.

skye said...

lmao

Mynxee said...

Your bodacious genius is truly inspiring. Can I win all three prizes? Cuz you know, I'm competitive that way. And way to go...turn those little girls into pirates early and then sign them up for Hellcats when they get old enough! kthx.

Avaricha Halo said...

What if someone sent you several billion isk? You should be careful what you ask for. Piracy is a tad boring when you're rich. ;)

Spectre said...

Mynx: Send me three different transfers and if they are the three highest amounts at the end of a week, you will win!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Woooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Avaricha: If someone sent me several billion ISK, i would buy an Incursus and fit it with the most ridiculously expensive faction mods I could find. I would then kill a Bantam, forget I was flagged, get killed by sentry guns and be back where I started. It would be GLORIOUS.

foster said...

If I win can I pick the ship names Spec?? >:)

Spectre said...

foster: Absolutely. The 2nd place winner can either let me decide on an appropriate name(s) or they can choose it themselves. I am fine with any vulgar or disturbing or ridiculous names.

Mynxee said...

"boring when you're rich"?! HA! I don't think so...Spec has the right idea on that score.

Look on the bright side, Spec...we're making our industrial friends rich needing to buy all these ships and mods to replace the ones we lose! At least SOMEONE benefits!

Stratx DeVayne said...

Being a newb pirate myself, I know the trials and tribulations of funding our much needed community service. I killed a miner today, and I'm sending the proceeds your way. Keep up the good work.

(it was only an osprey, so not that much, but every little bit helps)

Dexter Tripod said...

Nah, you haven't sold out until you start pimping referrals to play Eve so you can get free playtime. :-P

Mynxee said...

I'm sittin here LMFAO that you posted in Crime & Punishment about your Pirate Fundraiser. *guffaw*

Flashfresh said...

Genius.

(Flashfresh bows)

F

Anonymous said...

I thought i was the laughing stock of Mercantile Bureaua's pirate tavern of scummery... not anymore!! :) good luck funding a new thorax though, as u can tell from my loss mails on the KB i can't exactly help right now :(

infidel

Manasi said...

self aggrandizement at its best!
http://www.yourdictionary.com/self-aggrandizement

"noun

the act of making oneself more powerful, wealthy, etc., esp. in a ruthless way"

~Manasi

Ecatharina W said...

LOL! Well, my donations to a pyerate goes to keeping a bounty on Wensley..