Monday, October 6, 2008

Going Commando

Python Cartel and myself have been involved in some pretty epic fights in our day. We have battled everything from the lowly Bantam all the way up to mighty fleets made up of battleships and capitals. None of these engagements even begin to compare to the operation that we partook in today against a massive enemy force made up of ships of every shape and size, even a mighty Titan.

It all began with the signal that a Cynosural Field had been established in Aurohunen. This is a common occurrence and it is one of our favorite past times to immediately warp to the small cyno ships creating the field for their capital ship friends and gank them. I aligned my Thorax to warp to the cyno and gank but quickly stopped the warp when I realized something was wrong. This cyno field wasn't at a station... it was at a moon and our system had just been flooded with FOURTY new pilots! What in the world was going on? I switched into my Ares and flew close to the moon to scan. This was not the sort of group we normally saw arriving in Aurohunen but Mostly Harmless had arrived with many pilots and a number of expensive capital ships including a Nyx mothership, Aeon mothership and an Erebus titan. I rubbed my eyes and glared at the scanner again. A Titan! I had heard of the beasts but never expected to see one in person. I made sure to welcome our new guests to Aurohunen:

[21:45:57] Spectre3353 > welcome to our humble abode!
[21:46:04] Spectre3353 > the toilet runs, please jiggle the handle after going potty
[21:46:10] Spectre3353 > towels are in the hall closet

[21:54:01] Spectre3353 > we appreciate your donation of a titan to our humble little corp
[21:54:11] Spectre3353 > please leave it next to the star for us and we will deal with it from there. thanks!

I wanted to get close and see the titan in person but I would no doubt be destroyed by one of the enemy ships. Golden Helmet, also curious, boarded a his covert ops ship and flew in to acquire me some pictures of the titan and it's fleet so that my curiosity would be satiated. "Why should he have all the fun" I grumbled sadly. Then pondered. Yes... why should he? We needed to muster a fleet and take on these fools who think they can just land in our system without paying us a toll! I gave the call out to my corporation and we assembled a most incredible fleet made up of a Helios, Rifter, Vengeance, Incursus and my very own battle-Navitas. We waited for Golden Helmet to get us a good warp-in spot near a Stiletto pilot that was outside the forcefield of the POS and we charged in screaming our fierce battlecries:

[22:09:53] Spectre3353 > YARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
[22:09:55] Nemain Darru > EEEEEEEEEEEEEEYAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
[22:09:55] Andrea Skye > YARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
[22:09:59] Spectre3353 > FOR GLORYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
[22:10:01] Crazdale > YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!
[22:10:08] Nemain Darru > THIS. IS. AURO!
[22:10:08] Golden Helmet > WE DO WHAT WE MUST BECAUSE WE CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN
[22:11:06] Mr Morimoto > BANZAIII!!

We landed upon our target, the Stiletto interceptor and quickly massacred his fragile ship. We proceeded to pod the pilot and then fled the scene, unharmed and victorious! There was much rejoicing:

[22:11:12] Spectre3353 > VICCTTOORRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY IS OURRRRRRRS
[22:11:14] Golden Helmet > WE LOL AT YOUR TITAN
[22:11:52] Nemain Darru > YOU MIGHTY TRITANIUM PEEN IS IMPOTENT

Arriving at a safe spot in space, far from the commotion I checked my ship systems. Everything was intact, I had taken no damage, but something felt wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. Where was my drone! I had left him behind! No!

[22:15:52] Spectre3353 > NOOO DRONEY I MUST RESCUE YOU! I AM COMING MY FRIEND!
[22:16:18] Mr Morimoto > GODSPEED SPEC o7
[22:16:25] Golden Helmet > LEAVE NO DRONE BEHIND

I had to save my friend! He was stranded in enemy territory and I was not going to let him down. I warped back in and faced the mighty Titan and his fleet...


...but I was not scared! I faced them confidently with my Navitas and it must have had a huge effect as they just sat still and let me do as I pleased! I rescued Droney the Warrior I, looted our kill and slowly left right in the face of our opponents.

Today, a victory of monsterous proportions took place. With the help of superior ships such as my battle-Navitas and smart guerilla tactics, we were able to defeat the enemy fleet and scare them out of system. I am extremely proud of my fellow Python Cartel members for their courage and determination under intense pressure.

19 comments:

Helicity Boson said...

we fear no titans!

WE KEEL THEIR MENS!

GH said...

We are epic :D

skye said...

I had two webs on my rifter from the frigate torny, completely forgot to switch it, that stilleto was going nowhere xD

Fholcan said...

An inspiration to the rest of us :)

Marcus Garvey I said...

With most of the fleet afk and one idiot outside the forcefield, what an "inspiration" but thanks for a great lol on the forum post and local chat! :) yarrrr

Geaux Tiger said...

THAT WAS EPIC AND AWESOME!!!

IT WAS EPIWESOME!!!

I laughed so hard my wife thought I was in in need of an apendictomy

Lars Lodar said...

Epic Lulz

Mynxee said...

This wins! Absolutely cracked me up! Why doesn't everyone in EVE have a sense of humor like this?

Shae Tiann said...

Haha omg that's too funny ^_^ *hugs* for the Fearless Five, may you never forget another drone!

Lanissum said...

Gar, wish I was there :(

Hallan Turrek said...

You guys are absolutely nuts, in a good way.

Anonymous said...

Great read, thanks for the lol

wensley said...

Absolutely bloody brilliant. Just what I wanted to read today!

Letrange said...

Pants I wouldn't want to be in: The interceptor pilots. You know he's never going to live that one down.

Flashfresh said...

Great read!

Manasi said...

Haha leave no drone behind indeed! Very funny spec :)Keep up the good work bro.

Apoctasy said...

fucking.epic.sauce.

Patrick said...

And I cant bloody play during the week. *sigh*

Hopefully this weekend I'll have more time to log on. :(

Also: congrats on taking on a titan and winning! (read: not dying)

fleax said...

OH. MY. GOD! you are EPIC! :D