Friday, October 17, 2008

Great Escapes

After a terrible run when we first moved out to Metropolis where I lost no less than five cruisers, I have been running on what feels like an invincible streak for the last week. In several situations I escaped very lopsided odds and my own incredible stupidity from encounters with my ships flaming and beaten but still intact:

Brutix vs Incursus, Caracal and Ishtar

Ah, nothing like relaxing for a bit by sitting on the gate and popping haulers. I had specially fit my Brutix with a sensor booster so that I could quickly target and destroy the helpless industrialists and their juicy hauling ships. As a sacrifice to fit on that specialized hardware, I was flying my Brutix without a web. In other words, I would be pretty much in a crippled and extremely vulnerable state if I were to engage another actual combat ship. So it is no surprise that when I saw a Caracal and Incursus from an enemy gang show up in system, I couldn't help but follow them to a planet and engage. What can I say? I am stupid.

As I arrived in the battlezone and tried to engage my opponents frigate and cruiser, I was greeted by a third ship warping in. I gave a sigh and put my head in my hands. An Ishtar. A Caracal and Incursus I could tank all day long but there was no way I was getting out of this fight alive now, especially without a web equipped. Even if they came within blaster range, I could not hold them there to kill them. I stuck my drones on the frigate and aligned towards a distant station. The best I could do was to try and outrun them and warp away. I watched as the Caracal pelted me from range and the Ishtar orbited just out of blaster range with its drones assaulting my poor Brutix. I was running my armor repairer's and capacitor booster non-stop to try and compensate for the harsh beating my ship was taking. For minutes I managed to stave off death until my cargo holds were nearly dry of boosters and my hull began to crumple and burn. Still I managed to keep repairing just enough to keep myself alive.

What is this? The Caracal for some inexplicable reason was closing distance and soon was virtually on top me! I would make him pay for his absolutely retarded mistake. All seven blasters overheated and firing and my five drones all targetted upon the weak Caldari cruiser. He realized the danger he was in as soon as I opened fire but it was too late to flee. His ship was melted almost instantly. I toggled my MWD and managed to burn just out of scrambler range of the Ishtar who was probably not expecting his friend to explode so fast and I warped away to the station I had been trying to warp to the entire time. I cackled in the cockpit. I screamed. I cried. Those fricken morons. How did I just survive that fight let alone kill off one of my attackers? My entertainment was only multiplied as the frustrated Ishtar pilot accused me of having warp core stabilizers equipped. Stabs? Me? Right...

Thorax vs Arbitrator

Lazyness is a wonderful virtue. Because of it, I haven't bothered taking the time to go buy any new cruisers and thus I had been flying around in whatever I could scrounge up in my hangar for the past few days. Finally I got my ass up and flew to the nearest trade hub to pick up a new Thorax and the appropriate fittings and I took myself out to Amamake to see what type of horrific ways I could get myself killed. Amamake was much quieter than usual as it was only busy instead of a total madhouse. A few other cruisers and ships taunted me from the scanner and I pinpointed one of them to a nearby gate. Time to investigate!

I landed and saw my target in an Amarr Arbitrator cruiser. Nothing I couldn't easily handle. I targetted and launched my drones to try and coax him into engaging and it worked! Soon we were locked up in battle and I had my opponent webbed and scrambled and feeling the full brunt of my drones and blasters. It wasn't all clear skies though as my capacitor was being drained by his neuts. Once my capacitor was gone I would not be able to fire my guns, web, scramble or have any speed to escape. I grimaced as my energy was almost completely gone when I noticed a green flashing light out of the corner of my eye. I looked over at my ships console and came to an embarassing realization. I was not being neuted. My microwarpdrive was still on. I had been sitting still with it running for long enough to almost completely cap myself out. I scrambled to toggle it off and recover from my mistake and the distraction made me look away from the battle for just a moment. Just as I fixed the MWD problem, I felt my ship rock under the force of several smaller explosions. My blasters were frying and going offline because I had overheated them too far. Could I possibly screw this up any further?

Finally, with my opponent and myself both low in armor, I saw several new bogies arrive on scene and I decided to cut my losses and flee the battle with my ship on the verge of exploding. An easy kill, completely borked by my lack of attentiveness. What a damn newb I am.


Xephys said...

Lucky escape and it doesn't matter, at least you didn't die :P

Mynxee said...

I'd be laughing at you if I hadn't done the same dumbass things myself. Instead, I'm laughing with you. :)

San Rintu said...

Pure genius stuff.

Reminds me when I used to run a shield boost Raven. Instead of overloading it, I switched it off and rapidly died in the face.

Avan Sercedos said...

You stole my brutix fitting!11!11!

Spectre said...


2x MAR
1x DC

1x Medium Cap Booster
1x MWD
1x Scram
1x Web

7x Biggest Blasters You Can Fit

5x Hammerheads

That one?

No'Wai said...


Melissa Dawn said...

You melt some, you burn some. Nicely done :-)

skye said...

You forgot the bit where we came to kill the rest of that gang, but the caracal pilot came back in a falcon and we all got killed. Well except you and gh, you guys managed to escape xD

Spectre said...

Skye: SHUSH. There is a reason I didn't mention that part and it's because it makes us look bad.

Lars Lodar said...

Hey, I got ganked by a falcon and cruiser gang last night too!!!!