Wednesday, October 15, 2008


Victory Is Mine!

Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Why was I going to do this? Every time I decided to take on another Taranis in a one-versus-one battle I always got myself killed but here I was yet again, about to throw my precious little interceptor in harms way against a pilot older than myself. I slowly set a course for my opponents ship and launched my drones, watching as he quickly and aggressively closed distance on me. Within moments we were within range and I rushed to get a lock, engage my drones, my web, my guns and to try my very damnedest not to pee my pants. As soon as my blasters began to hit true I overloaded them to their maximum effectiveness. I closed my eyes and put my head between my legs, waiting for my ship to explode.

The sounds of battle echoed outside of my cockpit and I felt my ship shudder as it absorbed drone and blaster fire. In only moments I would probably be dead and against my best efforts I had just soiled myself. This is why I wear adult diapers while pirating these days. Suddenly, everything was silent and my ship began to slow and stopped completely. I lifted my head and looked outside. Had my attacker decided to have mercy? Had he fled?

My eyes lit up as I realized the debris outside was the wreck of the other Taranis. I had won? I had won! Finally, I had come out on top while dueling interceptors and my ship had barely even been scratched! Victory was mine!

Victory Is Ours!

Last night I got to fleet up with my good blogging buddy Mynxee. We were joined by several other friends and corp-mates to make up a motley gang including a Brutix (me), Stabber (Mynxee), Falcon (Andrea Skye), Helios (Golden Helmet), Kestrel (No'Wai AmaGawD) and Catalyst (Xasz). We warmed up in some backwater system by hunting down and killing a Rifter. It was an intense fight full of danger and some very close calls. Somehow we survived without any losses.

We sat about and waited out our global criminal countdowns when a call came in over the comms: Golden Helmet had found a Raven and Drake ratting... in Amamake? "Ratting in Amamake" is probably the single most dangerous phrase in all of Eve. Just saying it can sometimes be enough to kill a man. We had to get there and we had to get there fast or someone else would get those ratters first.

After a trip that seemed to take forever, we assembled our gang on the Amamake gate and sent our suicide tackling Catalyst pilot in to test our opponents. Were they really ratting? Were they just bait? Would they warp out when they saw Xasz? All these questions and more, answered in next weeks episode!

But seriously.

We got the message that Xasz had tackled and pointed the raven and we all jumped in and made a beeline for the fight. I called the Raven primary thinking that if we only managed to kill one of these two targets, it had to be the battleship. We all landed and the engagement truly began. Xasz had gone down, sacrificing himself so that we would could prosper and prosper we did. The Raven pilot tanked us well for a short period of time but eventually went down under the sustained pressure of my ghetto fit Brutix. Next up was the Drake who's tank was considerably less impressive and he melted like hot butter squeezed between my ass cheeks. Our Helios managed to nab both pods before they fled and on top of the kills and loot we obtained a 10 million ISK ransom. Victory was ours!


skye said...

^ Falcon faggot \o/

Spectre said...

Yea I forgot to mention how you jammed their pods for us after they had died. Good work with that by the way.

Jason said...

Good kills. Too bad the pilots sucked. That's the worst drake fit I've ever seen in my life. Raven wasn't fitted much better either.

Lanissum said...

wow, that rifter fight was a close one; good thing skye was there to make sure he didn't gank any1.. gj on the raven and drake too. XD

Mynxee said...

"hot butter....ass cheeks"....ewwwww, LOL! That was hella fun. You guys are fun dates. :)

Xasz said...

On the rifter fight being close... I barely made it out! 75% shields man! I COULD'VE DIED! Oh wait, I did. And like 3 more times today.

Xephys said...

Tehehe. I'm moving to amamake very soon. make sure to visit again.

Josh (GH) said...

All hail the great Helios, unsung hero that gets you bitches kills while enduring everyones endless whining :(

Lars Lodar said...

Good work as always.

No'Wai said...

hope to do it again. and i quote " if your in my fleet i can guarentee i wont kill you, might get your mods"

thanks spect.