Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Step 3: Profit!

I must say that I was always jealous of some of the things I heard about the Bastards and friends before I was part of their glorious corporation. Freighters, faction battleships, all sorts of delicious kills and their associated loot that I wish I could have been a part of attaining. Why did I never find such profitable encounters? Am I not worthy? Am I not good enough? Am I flying in the wrong area? Flying the wrong ships? Where do babies come from? These questions pierced my thoughts and made me wish it was me making billions from the death and destruction of some other poor pilot.

Fast forward to more recently when I joined the Bastards and I expected that in my first week we would probably gank three dreadnoughts, one carrier and then probe down four mission runners in Golem's. When none of this happened, I figured that perhaps I was being unrealistic and that entertaining and profitable encounters would take some time to materialize. I need to curb my expectations and start small... like with a tier 3 battleship:

I was listening over voice comms when one voice cut through the babble and asked for attention. Viginti had been scouring the belts in a system a few jumps away in his Crusader and had found an Abaddon ratting in one of the belts. An expensive battleship alone in a belt? I jumped up from my desk and bolted down to the hangar. Without a second thought I prepped my Myrmidon battlecruiser and undocked, knocking one of the hangar techs through the airlock and into space in my haste. "Does that count as a podkill?" I pondered as my ship aligned and began to warp. I checked my course and realized that there was only one way to meet up with Viginti and it was to travel through high security space in my battlecruiser. I observed some of my own corp-mates about to make the jump in battleships and other assorted large ships and figured that while I had never taken such a large ship into lawful space, I would probably be ok.

Minutes later I had arrived in the destination system and belt as one of the first attackers on scene. I burned my ship towards the Abaddon and powered up my weapons systems. Blasters loaded. Drones deployed. Target locked. I tore into my target as the rest of the gang was landing and approaching as well and it looked grim for the poor little Amarr pilot who had been sold down the river by our tackler in dinky little frigate. As our victims armor began to collapse, the suggestion was made to ask him to eject. As hard as it is to make myself pull back my weapons in the mid-stride, I did so... and the pilot followed orders! He ejected from his ship, fled the belt Kulmid docked up his own ride in order to pick up our new aquisition. Expensive modules, rigs... this ship was worth a pretty penny. So why not sell it back to the person that probably wants it the most?

Kulmid > o/
Mr Nau > ?
Kulmid > you want to buy your ship back?

Kulmid > 200,000,000.00 ISK
Mr Nau > may be 180?
Kulmid > no, 200
Mr Nau > for 200.000.000 i can buy new ship with rigs
Kulmid > but this way you keep the insurance you already bought
Kulmid > and you get everythign
Kulmid > you get rigs, guns, everything fitted
Kulmid > exactly how it was
Mr Nau > may be 180 ?
Kulmid > and your insurance
Kulmid > 200mil
Mr Nau > guns T1
Kulmid > they are 5mil each
Kulmid > Mega Modulated
Kulmid > are 4-5mil each
Kulmid > its worth 220mil at least
Kulmid > I'll sell to you for 200mil
Mr Nau > 200 is very mach for me
Kulmid > you get this nice shiny ship though
Mr Nau > 190
Kulmid > 200
Mr Nau > no thnk
Kulmid > ok find
Kulmid > have a nice day then
Kulmid > fine*
Mr Nau > 190
Kulmid > 200
Mr Nau > becase i have only 208 mln
Kulmid > then you will still have 200
Mr Nau > i must repaer ship
Kulmid > no, I already repaired it
Mr Nau > :((

Our new friend bought back his ship for 200 million ISK. Groovy. All aboard the profit train!

Choo Choo!


Lars Lodar said...

Nice haul.

Still doesn't beat the golem/absolution ransom.


Talk about epic lulz and mad patience.

Anonymous said...

Mr. Nau got what was coming to him after harassing me a few days ago in that very ship.

Thanks Spectre, even a pirate can make a carebear feel good :)

Mynxee said...

Priceless. Esp that line wondering if pushing someone out an airlock qualifies as a podkill. Great post...I'm thinking YOU should write the next EVE novel--an epic comedy.

Tony said...

Very nice profit train I must say!!!

Lars Lodar said...

I think the baby sandwich is possible the best picture ever.

San Rintu said...

You want some Reggae Reggae sauce in that baby sandwich.

Ombey said...

Very nice indeed! I've never understood why people eject. Curious.

skye said...

Nice haul and nice Paint artwork xD

RoninData said...

We told him to eject to save his pod (we had interceptors fitted with SEBOs). He decided to take the good advice and warp to the nearest station. Some people eject to save their pod because you have to unlock the ship and relock the pod (not a bad move) and some do it out of spite to deny pirates the killmail if they don't stop shooting in time. Sometimes this actually works and the cursing on vent is furious to say the least.

For Viginti's hard work, I actually let him have my share of the sale, it was reward enough just to be part of another epic ransom.

Great write up, Spectre.

Spectre said...

Lars: It is definitely the best picture ever.

Anonymous: I made a carebear feel good? Ugh. I have to go gank 10 newbs in Velators now to make up for the dirty feeling.

Tony/Skye: I must admit that I stole the train picture. The awesome P R O F I T letters and the guy with the money suitcase were all me though. I have talent.

Ronin: He probably deserved a majority of what was made there. He made a good tackle and held the guy down for a while.

Tony said...

Hey guess what we carebears do? One time I got caught in a little Corm and the guy ransomed me. I stalled while ejected, warped back, got my Raven, and popped the guy.

He was too busy typing in chat to notice me show up or just thought his UI was screwed! Good times!

Viginti said...

Thanks for the e-peen =D

Seriously though, thanks to all involved for the help.