Sunday, December 14, 2008

Happy Pirate Giveaway (Conclusion)

The contest has ended with 100+ reponses and around 150 haiku entries. You guys did a great job. Special props go out to Cussbeard and Marduk Kilrathi for their epic and high quality works. Before getting to the lucky winners of the fabulous prizes, I am going to recap some of the honorable mentions:

"Spectre Is Awesome" Category

Spectre is so good
I jizz when he attacks me
I pay big ransom
-Tony (Eve Weekend Warrior)

Gimme your dough or your pod
Giggled the Spectre
While eating baby sandwich
-Gabriel DiCozza

O, mighty Pirate
Guns blazing, ships exploding
Spectre is thy name
-Moon Dogg

You've been my hero
You showed me true happiness
Pirate's life for me
-Chomin H'ak

Spectre is a god
A legend among pirates
None can replace him

Best newb in the 'verse,
True gentleman o' fortune,
He's the mans' man, man.

"I Am Sad And Sappy About Spectre Leaving" Category

I know that you will,
Come back one day you big fat...
Because we love you!

Greatest of pirates
Friend of many a soul in EvE
You shall be missed bro

Me and you go back.
From enemy to close friend.
Give to those who gave.
-Lars Lodar

Great disappointment
No more Eve Newb blog to read
Don't leave us Spectre! :(

"I Have No Idea What This Means" Category

Four years unnoticed
BoB pilots rolling in dosh
Ferrogel all gone

me bad with english
not much better with the french
but i good with epeen

"Something Related To Feces" Category

Popping and Podding
Mister Pilkins pooped all over
Spectre rich, pony dead

i saw yer reply
to sarah above me there
poop poop poop poop poop
-ZeiTGesiT iL

No more poop to sling
No more cries to hear of death
The Spectre is Gone

"I Want To Sex Spectre Up" Category

I've heard there are girls
who sleep with people for ISK.
I'll send some over.
-Sarah Barah

I have to tell you.
Spectre screwed your mom last night.
That's right. I said it.
-Hallan Turrek

Spectre is teh sex
Me I S K loving whore
Come stuff Thron in me.
-Missa Rossi

Spectre is sexy
He is a leet pirate
Sexy is Spectre
-Endo II

All the girls want him
All the guys want to be him
Spectre is the Man
-Mad Robert

Spectre has returned
And again your cargo freed
By surprise butt sex
-Marduk Kilrathi

"I Hate Spectre And Hope He Chokes" Category

in all serious
your talent no mystery
you pay macroers
-ZeiTGesiT iL

Spectre is a noob
I am glad he is leaving
Don't come back this time

Spectre is a gay
Have fun with WoW you homo
I don't want your shit

"About Sandwiches" Category

He's got a sammich
It looks quite yummy n stuff
I want his sammich
-Avan Sercedos

The Winners

So without further adieu, your three lucky winners:

3rd Place (50 million ISK and a Velator):
Spectre is awesome
I wish he would have my kids
Goddamn he is hot

2nd Place (100 million ISK and a Brutix):
You guys are suckers
You thought you would get my cash

1st Place (200 million ISK and a Megathron):
I am the best ever
Don't you ever forget that
Poop poop poop poop poop

...and there we are! Congratulations to Spectre3353, Spectre3353 and Spectre3353 for their fantastic contributions and fabulous prizes. I couldn't be happier with the quality of their entries and enthusiasm towards... me. Your money has been sent and the items have been contracted! Enjoy!!!

Farewell For Now

This post marks the indefinite end to the EveNewb blog. Notice I said INDEFINITE. I am not currently planning on posting anything else here at the moment but if/when I return to Eve and if I simply feel the need to write about something video game related, you might see something pop up. For Eve roleplaying purposes, please just assume that the pirate Spectre has been captured and imprisoned by the Gallente Federation. He is currently being charged with attempted murder, murder, murder by shovel, murder by sandwich, armed robbery, petty theft, sodomy, animal cruelty, impersonating a government official, drug trafficking, smuggling, public drunkenness and disorderly conduct. It is an impressive list that I am most proud of.



Josh (GH) said...

Damn that Spectre3353 guy writes some good haiku's, I'm glad he won, he deserves it! :P

Avan Sercedos said...

No sammich?

Anonymous said...


And here I thought you would assign people as winners and then gank them as they flew their new ships away!

Well played sir! Well played indeed...

Moon Dogg

ZeiTGeisT iL said...

AHAHAHA, you will be missed. Plz come back sometime.and..
c wut he did Thar?
Waste Your Haiku for Spectre
nubbins never learn

ZeiTGeisT iL said...

and and u jacked my trademarked 3rd haiku line. pay or be sued

Anonymous said...

Buahahaha I knew this was going to happen! Suckers!


Anonymous said...

Hehe nice, done in true bastards fashion on less.

Jaggins said...

The Haiku thread was an epic way to bow out! Best of Luck you bastard!

Lars Lodar said...


Epic way to go out. Hundreds of shattered dreams and money in your pocket.

Take care and don't be a strange.

Tony said...

Bahahahahahaha (+ an infinte amount of more "ha"s).

Great way to go out! Can't wait to see what you'll do next. If ya get a WOW blog I'll sure to follow that!

BTW, thanks for mentioning me as #1 under honorable mentions! I pay and jiz, oh and I got some +4 implants today too, so I guess you'll have my pod too :)

Bfoster said...

That Spectre guy hacks! Or sleeps with the blogger.. /me files pettion with CCP..

/me recieves response.

Dear Mr. Bfoster, Our logs show nothing abnormal, EXCEPT, Spectre3353, we expect to have the issue resolved within 1 month! =P

mechajabber said...

You should write movie endings, that was brilliant :) What a twist!

Leumas said...

I must admit, you made me laugh right out loud.

Good luck with your WarCrack addiction.

Chomin H'ak said...

That does it, I want my $100M entrance fee back.

And what do you guys mean, "pirate"?

Methinks also, you should have had a 'boobie' prize: one free WoW interwebz account

Xephys said...

Haha, well played Spectre. Look forward to your return.

Marduk Kilrathi said...

Wooo special mention :D

Lucretiea said...

Shame to see ya go man! Will miss seeing you around the area... never did get to 1v1 you again, re-match syle. :(

Have fun doin' what ya do! (See you when you get back.)


Lanissum said...

You've been tagged; start blogging again about eve or... or...

Spectre said...

Lani: They did? Where?

skye said...

Spectre is a noob
I am glad he is leaving
Don't come back this time

was the REAL winnar

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Golden Hancuffs said...

You faile at eve!!!!!!!!!!!