Thursday, December 11, 2008

Happy Pirate Giveaway

All good things must one day come to an end. I have canceled my Eve Online account for the time being because there is only room in my life for one mamorpaguh at a time. My wallet is bulging with nearly a billion ISK and my hangar is stuffed full of ships. Sure I might be back one day but there are people who could enjoy all this wonderful stuff RIGHT NOW! I have already given away about 350 million ISK to friends but there is still plenty to go around. I sat and I thought about who really deserved all the joy I could give this holiday season. Who has given me the most and made me feel the best about myself over the past 8 months. That's right... it's you... the blog readers!

(Note: Sorry GH. I know you were expecting your name at the end of that sentence.)

So here is the deal. For the next three days I will be running a contest that will provide these prizes to the lucky winners:

200 million ISK and a Megathron

100 million ISK and a Brutix

50 million ISK and a Velator

Cash money and a chance to own the very ships that Spectre himself has flown? I know you are all screaming and euphoric at the very thought so let me tell you how easy it is to earn these fabulous prizes. The steps are simple:

(1) Create a haiku poem. For those not familiar with Haiku's, this description should suffice: Seventeen-syllable verse form, arranged in three lines of five, seven and five syllables. An example would be:

Spectre is awesome
I wish he would have my kids
Goddamn he is hot

(2) Post the haiku on this blog as a comment on this post.

(3) Profit!

All haiku's must be submitted by midnight on December 14th according to Eastern Standard Time. Haiku's can be on anything but I strongly suggest that they focus on Spectre and how unbelievable he is as a pirate (unbelievably good that is). I will choose the three best at the end of the contest and decide the winners and their places. You may enter as many times as you like but please be responsible about it. If someone abuses the fact that anonymous posters can post comments, I will change the permissions and only those with valid blogger accounts will be able to participate. Lastly, please include your in game character name along with your entry so that I know where to send the gold should you win a fabulous prize.

Let the writing commence!

P.S. No, the above picture doesn't have anything to do with the contest but I just really wanted to use it.

P.P.S. The Eve-Online thread about this contest is located here. Bump it for me if you are feeling nice.


Sarah Barah said...

I've heard there are girls
who sleep with people for ISK.
I'll send some over.

Sarah Barah said...

Oh, I guess I should have read the whole post before pooping out that gem.

Also, my toon's name is Gankis Khan.

Spectre said...

Sarah Barah: +1 for using the word "poop".

Sarah Barah said...

I was totally going to say "I'll come right over" at the end of my haiku, but I figured people would be offended by my admission. ;)

Hallan Turrek said...

Spectre is Awesome.
Happy Pirate Giveaway.
Spectre's stuff is cool.

I have to tell you.
Spectre screwed your mom last night.
That's right. I said it.

Eve Newb Diary
It is how I start my day.
Who needs a girlfriend.

Three entries, hope to see you back soon.

Terianna Eri said...

gallente ninja,
spectre will honor his name
once local chat goes


Misa Rossi said...

Spectre is teh sex
Me I S K loving whore
Come stuff Thron in me.

Misa Rossi

Tony said...

Pod me oh pod me
Spectre you can come pod me
All five plus implants!

The best pirate is
Spectre the very magnificant
He pods everyone!

Spectre is so good
I jizz when he attacks me
I pay big ransom


That's my three, I hope you come back and when you do, I'll hook you up :D

snooch said...

Four years unnoticed
BoB pilots rolling in dosh
Ferrogel all gone

Tony said...

Whoops, in the 2nd one, it's suppose to be:

The best pirate is
Spectre the magnificent
He pods everyone!

Sheriff Jones said...

Such a yar pirate,
Spectre really takes the cake.
Even stole Christmas.

And just for a laugh:

Yar i ain't so dumb.
Pirates life be in the sun.
As long as there's rum.

And one for the ocmpetition:

Christmas time is near.
Yet Jones bay be so empty.
Spectre stole it all.

Bandy said...

Dude, WTF? don't leave, ffs...
atleast, keep some stuff, you'll be sorry when you get back.
WHEN, not if.
Fly safe

zesparrow said...

tis a sad sad shame
tales of the bad a**ed spectre
soon to be nevermore

Zesparrow said...

don't go please don't go
love your stories and pony
Stay and pod somemore!

~ Zesparrow

Zesparrow said...

poor Bastards they lose
one of the best and brightest
notorious spectre!

~ Zesparrow

Achernar said...

Gimme your dough or your pod
Giggled the Spectre
While eating baby sandwich

Name's Gabriel DiCozza

Nathan said...

Killed so many noobs
With blaster and drone ownage
'Cuz missiles are gay

Amish Invader

Sheriff Jones said...

Posting another.
Just to come here once again.
Oogling pirate babe :D

Jenni Concarnadine said...

Pirate and pony
Flying free in uber-win
Generous with gold

Jenni Concarnaine,
Minmatar capsuleer
(and ponie-owner)

BuRniZZ said...

Popping and Podding
Mister Pilkins pooped all over
Spectre rich, pony dead

You're just a bit older than me and lived next door in Auro. I read this blog and told myself that I could have killed those ships. Lol


Jenna Cerribra said...

Yo, I got this:

He punishes all
With a drone-pooping vexor
Know his name: Spectre!

In cold New Eden
My wreck seems big from my pod
Away flies Spectre

High Security
Pirate Abomination
Gallente Spectre

Jenna Cerribra said...


In cold New Eden
My wreck seems big from my pod
Giggling Spectre

There we go!

Sheriff Jones said...

Publicity nill.
Created new thread for you.
Now many will come ^^

ZeiTGeisT iL said...

Brought me back to eve.
Even roamed with you one time.
you podded me,woot

in all serious
your talent no mystery
you pay macroers

i can has some win
i can haz cheeseburger too
gimme isk nao pl0x

you should just bank it
you will return soon enough
eve will cry then too

im glad your leaving
before CCP nerfs you
forums would shutdown

ZeiTGeisT iL said...

i saw yer reply
to sarah above me there
poop poop poop poop poop

Mynxee said...

So big, Spec's e-peen...
EVE simply couldn't take it.
Shoulda used more lube.

Legendary Spec
Made me laugh, showed me good times.
Damn fickle Bastard.

I don't want your stuff.
Got enough of my own stuff.
Wait. Screw that. GIF NAO.

Kirith Kodachi said...

the tears are bitter
Spectre is leaving us all
his path beyond sight

Good luck buddy, hope you make it back someday.

Anonymous said...

Wow. Look at how many people don't know what a Haiku is!

Sheriff Jones said...

You think Haiku wrong?
It not five seven five word.
Classic syllable ^^

Largo said...

Fearsome the Spectre!
Thy wallet shall blink with ISK
or clone vat you see.

Ode to wise Spectre:
Taking what he wants from all
and popping the rest.

Tony said...

Haha, it was probably a bad idea in the first place to subscribe to this post :P

I wake up and there's about 25 emails of Haikus in my inbox!

Sheriff jones said...

Weasel tried to scam.
Spectre said "No deal for you."
Pop goes the weasel.

Misaniovent said...

a pony thorax
reborn a new - pony true
an epic mount? yes

glorious spectre!
he buys expensive implants
but he dies and quits


Good blog, sorry to hear you're moving on from EVE.

Kename Fin said...

Please don't leave me now
Carebears need pirate love too
We funded these gifts!

Kename Fin

Spectre said...

Bandy: No worries. I will still have a chunk of money and ships left for if/when I return to pirating.

Everyone: A very good start. Please keep it going. Remember that only valid haiku's with the proper meter will be considered in the contest. It is FIVE-SEVEN-FIVE syllables.

Inertial said...

Spectre is a noob
I am glad he is leaving
Don't come back this time


H Lecter said...

Spectre kicked asses
as a pirate in Eve
Hope you come back soon

Nothing to worry
you can be sure of that
Spectre will pod you

Pirates are awesome
and Spectre is one of them
You better run now!

Transfer the ISK now
you will admit that I won
I want the first prize!

Haikus are stupid
however I do not care
ships are expensive

Xephys said...

I know that you will,
Come back one day you big fat...
Because we love you!

You're gonna end up regretting doing this, when you do :D.

In the meanwhile, i rite fur isks.

H Lecter said...

Dang - need to learn counting to seven :)

Quick correction:

Spectre kicked asses
as a pirate in Eve's world
Hope you come back soon!

Nothing to worry
Mate you can be sure of that
Spectre will pod you!

Modathn Etch said...

It's self-evident
but people can be stupid
so goddamn stupid

Largo said...

another entry...

of spectre beware
your now target immobile
damn isk or podded

Jaggins said...

This ghostly evil
Spectre has conquered my Pod.
The ransom was sick!

With no more time left,
we sadly mark his passage.
Spectre will return!


Endo II said...

gaily cajoling
bull sags doggedly, prey speaks
prince ringing, leering

Spectre is sexy
He is a leet pirate
Sexy is Spectre

(Not a haiku)
When sprectre is sad, he just stops being sad, and starts being awesome. True story.

Char name: Endo II

Anonymous said...

- From Moon Dogg (my in-game name)

O, mighty Pirate
Guns blazing, ships exploding
Spectre is thy name

Debris spreading fast
Bug eye corpses cold in space
Spectre brings sweet Peace

Turrets get it done
Pirate Spectre needs no help
But the drones are nice

Anonymous said...

-William Escobar

Watching silently
Stealth bomber of death fires
Carebares die quickly

Epic Fail Haiku
Hope to see you back soon! Your post were a good distraction from Exams

Leumas said...

Tales of your exploits
Taught carebear and vet alike
Of true pirate ways

Though we never met
I new that your ship was one
From which I should run

The presence on scan
Of Spectre3353
Meant death for many

Much safer are now
The space lanes of New Eden
Without your Vexor

Leumas Kharzim

Buhhdust Princess said...

Don't you hate it when
You are writing a Haiku
and you run out of.

Enjoy ;)

Anonymous said...

Warping to zero
Overview is full of red
Lag hath taken me


Jack Torrence said...

-Jack Torrence- (ingame)

Spectre, sinker of ISK
ur wallet, an endless stream
of Carebear tears

Chomin H'ak said...

You've been my hero
You showed me true happiness
Pirate's life for me

Blastaranis gone?
The ponies are crying now,
No moar Eve Newb lol's

: (

Gonna miss this blog

Vivien Sureflight said...

They nerf the best ships
Whenever I train a race.
Damn you, CCP!

Vivien Sureflight said...

I have no idea
Who this arrogant guy is
But damn is he hot.

Bfoster said...

Spectre's my old friend
you said you would quit last time
but gimme ur stuff this time

Avan Sercedos said...

Spectre the Legend
He who woos all female kind
I really need stuff

He's got a sammich
It looks quite yummy n stuff
I want his sammich

Like vulture we come
Readers to beggers we go;
Pirates are very broke.


Avan Sercedos said...

My name's my name on here
(just in case)

Who8MyLunch said...

Fly with friends in space,
Foes to hunt, bullets to shoot.
A pirate and his pony.

Yassir said...

Worry not Spectre
You shall pirate still
I hear gnomes pay

Please come back Spectre
Let loose the dogs of war
Punish bears evermore

Who will take your place?
Who will ride your pony still?
No dancers in WOW

~Commander Yassir

StrangeApe said...

oh no here's specter
where the hell can i hide
my ship just went boom!

and in my defense

me bad with english
not much better with the french
but i good with epeen

Xephys said...

Might as well give it
Another go, even though
I know I wont win.

Remember Spectre.
I will always remember.
Remember Spectre!

This is getting hard
I am thinking of lame stuff
I think I'll go sleep.

Xephys said...

Oh oh, I have just
now though of another one
It's pretty damn good.

(Improvement on the one before)

Remember Spectre
Like the Fifth of November
Remember Spectre

I watched V for Vandetta recently, don't blame me ;)

Lanissum said...

Lets not be so shy
I really do like you man
But I just want isk.

Spectre, the famed pie
Burned a trail of death through Eve
But alas, he left.

Yes, I'll pay up now!
Just give me 30 seconds,
so my friends can come.

Thars my three for you spec, but you really shouldn't leave Eve.
Or maybe your not, but just like to see all of us concerned souls?

Anonymous said...

Spectre is my Hero,
like a light in the darkness,
Spectre is Awesome!

Please send Isk to Serious Sally .. PS i need the isk :)

Mazargar said...

Spectre is leaving
Oh, what a mournful day it is
Can I have your stuff?

Zesparrow said...

hurrah joyous day
little carebears come and play
spectre pew no more

~ Zesparrow

Zesparrow said...

oo just realised i made a mistake previously

poor Bastards they lose
one of the best and brightest
Spectre is no more
[end edit]

~ Zesparrow

Tai Paktu said...

Hey Spectre. What's up?
This poem isn't very good.
Haiku. Haiku. Fin.

Tai Paktu.

Anonymous said...

Spectre's my idol
I still suck at piracy
Give me the vela!

... tor.

Spectre's blog always
Has the best images but
Where does he find them?

Hope you come back soon
But I have to admit though
I still want your stuff

Always wanted to
Join the python cartel corp
Because of your rep.

I count that as three, since the first one didn't fit ;)

-- Rakkar Than

Alopeke said...

Spectre is awesome
I wish he would have my kids
Goddamn he is hot


I figure it was worth a try, since no one else posted it :)


Munio Veritas said...

Tendrils from the warp
slide off the flashing red ship.
Oh shit, it's Spectre.

Hellhound247 said...

Spectre is a god
A legend among pirates
None can replace him

All will remember
The Dreaded Pirate Spectre
A Bastard always

Spectre is no more
The carebares sing and rejoice
Until his return

He's red and flashy
The envy of eve pirates
And second to none


mechajabber said...

Northrend is waiting
A Gnome of Medivh beckons
Old friendship renewed

Dustgrinder / Tynka
email or f-book meh!

Harmswayy said...

Spectre has stuff.
I do not.
Help a noob.

I want to be a pirate.
I have no boat.
So I play EVE.

You probably kick ass at pvp.
I do not know.
But I'll say you do.

After three days of playing.
I saw a post, free stuff for me?
I can only hope.

Spectre be nimble.
Spectre be quick.
Spectre just raided a carebear wreck.


Have fun playing other mmorpg's, and I hope the people who win remember where they got the prizes from if you decide to come back.

Spaztick said...

Who waits at the gate?
Why, Spectre waits to pod you!
Logoffski won't help.

('tis my in-game name, yarr).

Arcon Telf said...

Spectre, the pirate
so deadly and devilish,
Ransom's paid up front.

By Arcon Telf

William DeMeo said...

Not sure who you're
But better than Tiller
You surely are

Anonymous said...

UK as a 70's kid
Camps to Camping

from Grifter to Rifter

the middle age spreads

Anonymous said...

Doh as I am not registered for my post above , my Eve tag is NOPSLIDE


Nopslide said...

UK as a 70's kid
Camps to Camping
From Grifter to Rifter

The middle age spreads


Anonymous said...

Fuckin' hell He's ace,
Pirate born n' pony run,
Says I to his face.

Best newb in the 'verse,
True gentleman o' fortune,
He's the mans' man, man.

Comedian one,
Pirate upon plastic steed,
Twice the blogging fun.

Alas New Eden,
Legend born, pirate no more,
Spectre is leaving.

Overview turn red,
Spectres' come demands your loot,
Traders fear in dread.

That Son of a gun,
Bastard born so pirate known,
Now begins the fun.

A king of the newbs,
Way to him only known how,
Great men come and go.

Harkeneth oh man,
Newbie once, master became,
That one with a plan.

Dihania said...

Haiku must I write
Hope to get it right
My wallet empty is
Spectre got all my kills

I'm not glad that his gone
Tho' in person I don't know
This Spectre baloney
Who loves his poney.

And I hate Haikus yo
But I really need the do'
And if this one also rimes
Means I'm just inspired by crimes.

Should a Haiku rime?
Like I care much about it
Just give me your stuff

Dihania said...

since I wrote something that is not a Haiku here is one that I hope is:

Don't know Haikus much
But I need that cash Mr Spectre
Ransoming the Pony.

Jint Hikaru said...

Concord will protect?
Bears traveling Empire Space
On the boards they whine.

Josh (GH) said...

My Dearest Spectre,
How You Make Me Oh So Wet,
Please Don't Leave For WoW.

Too lazy to read all the comments (80+, omfg!) so no idea if I ripped someone off, but ahh well. I suck at these anyways.

Figures you quit eve right as I'm coming back, albeit to be a filthy carebear, but still! Come back soon bitch!

Ulfskein Gangr said...

Spectre's I.S.K...
Like Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves!
He makes peasants smile.

Anonymous said...

Ferrogel freighter,
Spectre's corporation
Celebrates tonight.


Ulfskein Gangr said...

A fruitful contest-
The fattened one is now prey.
Spectre of winter.

Ulfskein Gangr said...

(And one last one for completeness...)

Third time is the charm.
Haiku real but iskie fake-
Spectre strikes again.

Anonymous said...

Thugs will come and go
But the heights that you have reached
Will never be reached again

What kind of pirate
Can I be without your ISK?
You know what to do ^__^

I wish I was first
To send you a begging note

Athena Reliasus, and thanks for the great blog, I've really enjoyed it :)

Kulmid said...

Spectre is a gay
Have fun with WoW you homo
I don't want your shit

Manasi said...

Spctre Spectre why
Why have you left us again again?
Litch king more then EvE:(

[the suckup part now]
Greatest of pirates
Friend of many a soul in EvE
You shall be missed bro

[the finale]
No more poop to sling
No more cries to hear of death
The Spectre is Gone

No more women to woo
No more booze to guzzle now pal
Spectre was he ever here?

Fair winds ,and following seas bro!

JP said...

Spectre keeps on calling
Won't take no for an answer
Demanding I pay.

in game name: Vall Kor

Phantom Raspberryblower said...

There was a young pirate called spec
Who ended up pirating round hek
He joined crimson flag
But ended up playing WOW wot a fag? :P

PS Come back and blow shit up yopu big girl

Riss Welser said...

Pirates are a pain
Losing ships to minus ten
Gate camp is their gain

James said...

In remembrance of
That awful moment of lag
Before your pod pops.

-toon name Chaleban

Lars Lodar said...

From good times to bad,
I saw you become a man.
Pirate incarnate.

Greatest time in EVE.
Rulers of Aurohunen.
Sad to see it end.

Me and you go back.
From enemy to close friend.
Give to those who gave.

Good luck with your life.
Hopefully I'll see you soon.
They always come back.

Neo Rainhart said...

The spectral one floats away

The sodomized ones now can live again

Floats away to another bay

Mad Robert said...

All the girls want him
All the guys want to be him
Spectre is the Man

Respect the Spectre
For if you do not pay up
Your ship will blow up

Is he just a man
Or a spectre to be feared
Pray you don't find out

His epeen is strong
His manliness unequaled
Bow down to Spectre

by Mad Robert

Mister Inx said...

Spectre, he leaves now
what becomes of him unknown
save the tears; contract

Space has no screams tonight
we could not hear them at all
he left, grand Spectre

What is left of gates
uncamped, without fear of raid
the bears will roam now

-Joskken Inx

Marduk Kilrathi said...

Listen to a tale
Of a pirate named Spectre
It's a worthy yarn

Many tears are seen
In the wake of destruction
Of many pilots

He would cruise the skies
searching for careless pilots
then wait on the gate

Unaware they jump
Into Spectre's waiting scram
and his guns light up

Bestower explodes
Cargo is liberated
From current owner

The corp fleet jumps through
To try to save the prizes
But alas! Too late!

Spectre has vanished
His mission is now complete
The loot his reward.

Then came December
And Spectre hangs up his wings
So he can play WoW

But complacency
Should not take hold if ever
For he will return

On that fateful day
When with gate activation
Red flashy appears

Spectre has returned
And again your cargo freed
By surprise butt sex

This is my story
Heed it well, o capsuleer
You may survive yet

But now let us raise
Our glasses! Here's to Spectre!
Best pirate ever!

Marduk Kilrathi.

Blammo said...

Straight from the heart, my three haikus:

If I suck up hard
am I more likely to get
all your pirate loots?

a happy pirate;
a sad tranquility mourns
for the departure

we thought you were cool
but alas, we find out now
you are a carebear

Blammo said...

Woot I got the 100th comment.

Hauler McGavin said...

As The Bastards soar
Nothing but screams shall be heard
Echoing in space.

Hauler McGavin

Tchell Dahhn said...

I Ninja'd this contest
since Carebear Tears Fuel My Ship
but Spectre sheds none

(There you go, Spectre. I figured that the best compliment I could give you is that we could extract no tears from you... ...even if this might not be so.)

Tchell Dahhn
CEO, Tear Extraction And Reclamation Service
CEO, Suddenly Ninjas

Anonymous said...

Never knew spectre
I heard he's a pirate, yarr
Or at least he tried!


Vaeloz said...

Spectre the pirate
Showered with ladies and booze
He lolz when you die

LastRebel said...

The carebears are safe,
Spectre has cancelled his sub!
I can haz his stuff?

Worth a try, I guess :D

Dj Akula said...

Real life is too busy
Deadline was utterly missed
Will never be rich

Spectre the terror
Huge Ransom god, pod killer
Baby sub eater

Captain Falcord said...

Sad to know you quit
But I'm leaving myself too
I don't want your stuff

acolite said...

Noob-tears run freely
Only logged in to skill change
Can I haz ship back?


Red flash in local
Spectre appears on scan
Clone Vote is squishy


Looking at my pod
Ransom not in chat channel
Why did I undock?


Frigs, cruisers, inties
HACs, Caps, BSes, BCs
Spectre pwns them all


Great disappointment
No more Eve Newb blog to read
Don't leave us Spectre! :(


I wasn't sure what 'responsible' meant, so I stopped at 5 :D

Its a real shame to see you take a break (and i say 'take a break' rather then 'stop', as I'm hopeful that you will return!), but if your doing it to experience other games and have fun in different ways, I can hardly hold it against you :)

all the best!
(my in-game char's name is 'ac0lite', btw)

Krisy said...

Once upon a time
wait,there's a blonde chick
Spectre, blonde chick

Spectre a blonde chick
Somehow a pirating blonde chick
What loot she bears

Randomness, I thought I got the blonde chick well incorporated though: Character = Fabe

Jim said...

Like a spring flower
You, oh Spectre, will return.
"Yarr" is forever.

Jeiden Rougal said...

Path to virtue
Chosen by the one above
spreading the Scriptures

i enjoyed writing it, thx for the opportunity

Tony said...

"Jeiden Rougal said...
Path to virtue
Chosen by the one above
spreading the Scriptures

i enjoyed writing it, thx for the opportunity"

Haha, too late!