Monday, March 2, 2009

I Am Back Home

On The Move Again

With several core members of the corp formally known as the Python Cartel also back into piracy and living up in our old home, I have decided to move back to the Lonetrek region and join them. I have left the Bastards and joined up with several of my old friends (and enemies) in the Carebear Stare pirate corporation. Despite my defection, I hold the Bastards in the highest regards and wish them the best of luck for providing me a wonderful place to practice my trade over the past few months (and sending me care packages while I was imprisoned).

I sold off a majority of my ships in Evati, packaged up everything else I owned, disguised myself as an Italian trucker complete with a fake mustache and took off for my new (old) home. In my Iteron III we tricked CONCORD and the rest of the pansy faction police into thinking I was merely moving a truckload of Twinkies and away through highsec I flew! I turned on the autopilot, sagged my hat over my eyes, stuck a Twinkie in my mouth and took a little nap while we lumbered towards our destination. I slowly fell asleep in my pilots chair without a care in the world...

My Iteron shook viciously and I woke to alarms and blasters firing. A Brutix battlecruiser next to one of the gates I was approaching had just opened fire on me! I panicked and tried to flee, thinking of what was held within the holds just behind. Every module I owned, thousands of items worth hundreds of millions were about to go down in smoke. My ship lurched again and I could see debris floating just outside and gas spewing from some of the severe damage to my hull. I frowned and watched as I was about to get some serious karma when the faction police dropped out of warp and engaged my attacker. With my ship nearly destroyed they quickly blew up his ship and I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Sorry about that sir. Damn pirates sometimes get cocky and try to hit targets of high value here in our space. There is a station nearby you can dock at and repair" came the message from one of my saviors.

"Ah thank you good-a sir. You have saved-a my Twinkie shipment and the boss-a will be-a mighty pleased-a" I replied in a very convincing Italian accent.

"Uhh... Ok." was all I got back before they warped away and left me back to my own devices. A close call and saved by the very people who would have finished the job had they known who I truly was. Suckers.

Psychological Warfare

One big downside to being a pirate is the inability to safely engage targets on gates or near stations. There are really only a few ways around this that include:

(1) Attack other pirates or make non-pirates attack you first so that the sentry guns won't fire.
(2) Fly something big and tanked enough that the sentry fire won't ensure your death.
(3) Trick or lure people into engaging you away from the sentries.

My favorite of late has been the tricky #3. An example of this would be when myself and Andrea Skye were roaming the other night and spotted a Caracal on scan. The pilot was young and travelling through low-security space from gate to gate. We followed him in our Thorax/Vagabond pair but we were not able to nab him on a gate (nor would we have lasted too long under sentry fire) so I was forced to use my superior intellect to try and get him exposed:

[06:59:42] Spectre3353 > please wait a second
[06:59:45] krera > ?
[06:59:45] Spectre3353 > and join our fleet
[07:00:00] Spectre3353 > i am trying to give you something

It worked! We landed on the next gate with the Caracal sitting still and he had instructed his computer to be under my control as the fleet commander.

[07:00:52] Spectre3353 > ok one sec bud
[07:00:54] Spectre3353 > i have some mods for you

I did have some modules for him but not in the way he was expecting. I sent the command to the fleet to warp myself, Skye and our victim all to an isolated spot in space. As we landed, we scrambled and opened fire on the befuddled cruiser and its pilot:

[07:01:40] Spectre3353 > this is a ransom
[07:01:46] Spectre3353 > 10 million ISK and you can leave with your ship in tact
[07:01:48] Spectre3353 > you have 30 seconds

He refused to respond. Eventually he began to return fire so we destroyed his ship and tried the same tactic on his pod:

[07:03:11] Spectre3353 > this is another ransom
[07:03:17] Spectre3353 > 10 million ISK and you can leave with your pod intact
[07:03:19] Spectre3353 > you have 30 seconds

Again no response. Again we destroyed him. Sucker.


Andrea skye said...


Not a stabber FYI. xD

Spectre said...

Like there is a difference? :P Fixed.

Mynxee said...

Heh heh, I am amazed anyone falls for that. I really need to try it.

Grippers said...

Did you get my parting gift to you spectre? Enjoy....

Tony "EVE's Weekend Warrior" said...

Great stuff. Just give me more time to pay the ransom and give me a little discount when you meet me in Lonetrek eh?

Spectre said...

Mynxee: It works more often than you would think. The trick is to target innocent newbs.

Gripper: I did get it and you made me a very happy fellow. I bought a new Megathron and a new Domi and some other toys this week thanks to your financial backing :)

Tony: You get 30 seconds, just like everyone else. You only get a discount if you have the proper coupon out of that days newspaper.

Tony "EVE's Weekend Warrior" said...

Damn! :P

Anonymous said...

I like to trick people into engaging me at gates and then kicking their arses for them when they do.

Had some good fun last night playing with a faction warfare fleet on the Villore gate in Old Man Star. They all engaged me but I couldn't split them up enough to actually take them out.

H Lecter said...

I really have to try inviting victims to my fleet - didn't think people are that stupid, but on the other hand you also find industrials on autopilot in losec...

Lol @ italian trucker - that was the first story of a hauler that I found funny, probably even the only one I ever read :)

Chomin H'ak said...

Italian trucker?

That's-a one-a dumb police-a man!

Grats on the move. Hope it's good on you.

deathscythe said...

carebear stare is a good corp much better than the bastards, a good choice i say.

BuRniZZ said...

oh damn. You guys are back in Mara and Aurohunen? This place actually started to get civilized. lol