Thursday, March 26, 2009

Newb Carebearing Guide

A while back, I started to write (but never completed) a newbs guide to pirating. I was considering starting this over from scratch with updated information from a viewpoint that is now much more experienced. Upon searching around the web, I realized that there are already so many good resources that it almost isn't worth it. As I expressed this sentiment to my gangmates, Andrea Skye gave me a wonderful idea. Why not write a guide to carebearing... er, PvE content for beginners? Do they not deserve the same level of attention and resources as pirates? So without further adeiu, here it is: Spectre's Guide to Newb Carebearing in Eve-Online!

Mining

Mining is one of the most exciting forms of PvE content in the universe of Eve. Pilots who dedicate themselves to the art of asteroid combat are promised the exciting life of watching skill points slowly tick upwards so that they can fly a new barge on top of the already exhilerating task of attacking asteroids with little laser beams. Mining in high security and 0.0 space is OK but will barely provide you with enough money to feed your 12 kids and 2 wives back at home on Perseus Omicron 7. The real money is in lowsec! Systems between and including 0.1 and 0.4 security are widely known to house the BEST minerals that sell for a LOT of money. Any miner that is not in their best ship, mining away in low security is a dummy and intentionally passing up the good life that includes gold bling, diamond bling, platinum bling and mad hot phat honeys. Or something.

Missioning

If you thought mining was intense, wait until you try your hand as a vital agent of your republic, federation or corporation. Incredible missions involving infiltration, betrayal, ambushes and all out massive fleet combat is in store for you. ANYTHING can happen at any time but you'll be ready to take it all on because you and your T1 fitted Drake are BADASS AS HELL. A lot of people tend to mission in the very high security status areas simply because they started there as newbs and are afraid of change. It is the more englightened of the missioners who realize that the best place to mission is low security space. The missions are awesomer, the rewards are better and you are totally safe from those pesky ninja-salvagers that plague busy high security mission hubs.

Ratting

Ratting is like missioning but without all the unncessary fluff. Who cares who you're helping or about some crappy storyline? You want combat and you want it NOW. No one is going to stop your 1.8 million skillpoints and your Armageddon fit with small shield extenders. You have so many different types of weapons and salvagers fit that NO RAT is going to stand in your damn way. And once they're all dead? You're going to salvage the balls out of their wrecks. No one can even begin to debate the fact that the profession of ratting is the most hardkore of them all. With the addition of battleship rats and their huge bounties to low security space, what is to stop you from being the richest and badassest pilot in the history of Eve? Not much. Go get 'em tiger.

Trading/Market

While everyone else is out working hard, those who play the Eve market are sitting pretty in their giant freighters, smoking a cigar and holding a glass of brandy. These financial geniuses have figured out the true ticket to making money in Eve: by hauling stuff through low security space in all sorts of industrial ships and freighters. Is stuff cheap in one area and selling for more in another? Haul it the shortest route (hopefully including a few lowsec jumps) and make a profit! Need to get some minerals to market? Load up that freighter and the miners will pay you billions for your help! By sticking to the less busy and high demand regions in and near lowsec, you can make such an incredible amount of money with virtually no effort. No one has any excuse for failure when engaging in trade or sales.

Conclusion

So uh. That's it? I guess? That was sort of a guide. The bottom line is: All carebear and PvE profession are more fun and more profitable in low security space. If you are smart you will spend all your time in low security space. Do as I say and you too will be successful in the harsh world of Eve-Online!

18 comments:

Patrick said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lachesis said...

Might I also suggest you do a second guide on how to avoid and deal with pirates. I mean, if people are going to go into lowsec they're going to have to know the best ways to survive when they're there.

Spectre said...

But pirates are not an issue in lowsec. They primarily are in 0.0 and highsec. Lowsec is the safest place you can be in all respects to be honest and pirates are never something you need to worry about while you are flying there.

Yargok said...

F-ing awesome!

Sadly the ones reading this would also be reading your other accounts of various slaughter and mayhem of unsuspecting belt-ratters..

Get it in Pdf form and have eve-guides post it there under "PvE"
:P

But good effort, we need more targets, I guess without the newbs we would have to resort to shoot eachother every day.

Suffer Knot said...

Nah its not the pirates at all that you need to worry about, its all the other people who will scan you down and kill you dead in 2 minutes flat.

Barring that one ommission awesome guide. :)

Mikolan said...

*Sitting in the command seat of his over-bloated Mammoth hauler, stocked to the brim with enough goodies to feed an entire region, as he steers his way through the depths of low security space around Solitude while smoking a fat 1mil isk cigar* "Umm....what's a pirate??" :D

Lucretiea said...

Excellent guide. May I suggest adding "Bringing a faction/officer fit battleship will increase your profits exponentially as you will burn through the rats 2x faster."?

Chomin H'ak said...

Awesome guide, dewd.

I'm going to grab my hulk and run to low sec, now. Wait, we'll possibly need an orca or two, also.

See ya in low sec!

Alexia Morgan said...

I see what you did. ;)

Apoc said...

I support this product and/or service

Kazaji said...

Love how all of them end with Lowsec > Highsec.

Funny read, and all true. :P

Josh (GH) said...

That is actually surprisingly true. Missions really ARE more profitable in low sec than high sec, you get more reward and LP compared to high sec. The ratting isn't too bad now, at least compared to high sec. And trading, put your stuff in the right low sec systems and bring a lot of items (i.e., all race weapons and ammo of all sizes), cheap buy order in Jita and high sell order in low sec, and you can make a shitton of isk.

Still a hilarious guide though :D

Lanissum said...

Nice guide!
I think you just broke my sarcasm detector.

Andrea skye said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Andrea skye said...

I endorse this service!

ps. screw spelling mistakes

Dexter Tripod said...

Finally! I KNEW I could make money in low-sec. Thanks for the guide!

*runs and jumps in Complex/Officer fit Merlin*

*thinks* 'Nothing can break THIS tank, no sirree bob'

Tony "EVE's Weekend Warrior" said...

And if you see people gathering round don't run, stay and say hey!

Mynxee said...

Hee hee. Good guide. Super advice. It's so generous of you to share your knowledge with 'the other side' like that, Spec.

Carebears reading this, just one bit of advice: If Spec asks in Local if you're docked, say NO even if you are. :) Because a frustrated Spectre is a highly amusing Spectre.