Skill is overrated. Sometimes all you need is luck. As I sat a few hundred kilometers off one of the low security gates, watching the traffic fly by, I was not really expecting much. Ibis. Rifter. Badger. Orca... Orca? I sat up and typed it into the ships console to get info on this ship that I was clueless about.
Industrial Command Ship
Approximate Value: 477,849,000 ISK
Half a billion ISK? Immediately I warped to the gate and signalled my already assembled gang of pirates to get here as soon as possible. I jumped through to the other side and sighed as I realized I was 30KM away from the target. In my battleship. With an afterburner. Assuming that I could never reach scrambler range before he warped, I approached him with my mods overheated with the hope that maybe, just maybe, this bigass industrial ship would align slow enough to let me get there.
25km... 20km... I watched as the massive ship turned and its engines began to glow... 15km... his ship began to accelerate... 10km...
"Two Points" I shouted excitedly to my gang as they began to arrive. It was all over for this poor fellow and his silly mining ship. Afterward, I congratulated my gang for what they had done. Thanks to us, countless Veldspar asteroids were saved a gruesome fate. Once again we could beam and feel proud for what we were... heroes of the highest caliber.
Nico Nico Nico Cat (Is Kind of a Douchebag)
A long while ago I wrote a post about a run in we had with a couple of nano'd pilots. I gave them credit for giving us a fun time and being good sports about it. What I did not realize was that one of the pilots, Nicocat, was NOT actually a good sport at all. Since that day forth I have encountered him many times and on virtually every occassion he has found something to whine and complain about in the system channels.
Tonight, predictably, Nicocat showed up in a Vagabond. I decided that the only proper way to approach this fact was to sing him an original song that I had written on the spot just for him.
[03:55:03] Spectre3353 > niconiconicocat
Surely he would appreciate my yodelling. Everyone loves songs about themselves!
[03:55:49] Spectre3353 > i was singing your name
[03:56:05] Nicocat > No you weren't, you're being an irritating twat, as usual
[03:56:18] Spectre3353 > you sure are the biggest toolbag in eve
What a jerk!
[03:57:11] Nicocat > Someone must be drunk again
[03:57:18] Kerblamo > I just asked him
[03:57:22] Kerblamo > apparently he's sober
[03:57:31] Spectre3353 > sober as a teradactyl on bastille day
[03:57:45] Spectre3353 > only a sober man could sing like this
[03:57:49] Spectre3353 > nico nico nico nico cattttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt
[03:57:57] Nicocat > Then he's a detriment to his corp.
[03:58:03] Kerblamo > he's the ceo
My vocal chords were just getting warmed up and I could tell that this song was something special. It might be the sort of thing that space Bards will sing in 10,000 years. A song of space legends.
[04:03:00] Spectre3353 > nico nico nicoooooooo cat cat cat
[04:03:14] Nicocat > Would somebody kill him already?
[04:03:21] Kerblamo > Love to
[04:03:23] Spectre3353 > you have no sense of humor
Tired of our humorless guest, we took our gang out to another system to hunt for targets. Later on the night we did encounter a very young pilot ratting in a Tristan. We warped in and scrambled him with our gang of six cruisers and decided to ransom, but what can you ask from a 2 day old pilot? Perhaps a payment of... song?
[04:49:02] Spectre3353 > hi
[04:49:07] Spectre3353 > we will let you go under 1 condition
[04:49:13] Lone Fool > Alright?
[04:49:14] Spectre3353 > you have to sing this song in local system chat
[04:49:20] Spectre3353 > "nico nico nico catttttttttttttttt"
[04:49:26] Spectre3353 > "nico nico nico nicooooooo nicoooooocat!"
[04:50:16] Lone Fool > Nicoooo nicoooo cat?
[04:50:36] Lone Fool > Nicooooo nicooo cat
[04:50:56] Lone Fool > nicooooooooooo nicoooooooooooooo cat
[04:51:06] Lone Fool > nico nico cat!
[04:51:11] Spectre3353 > YOU SIR
[04:51:12] Spectre3353 > ARE A WINNER
[04:51:16] Apoctasy > \o/
[04:51:17] Nemain Darru > you win today!
[04:51:17] Lanissum > AND FREE TO GO
[04:51:20] Lone Fool > Whew
[04:51:24] Lanissum > Lol
[04:51:28] Lone Fool > I love you guys
Music to my ears.
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