Tuesday, April 28, 2009

It's Not Easy Being Red

It is not easy being a blinky red pirate. It is not a simple life to have a -10 security status. Frankly, it hurts a little bit to have people announce that you are not welcome and that you will be violenced every time you try to enter a remotely civilized star system. Are these people totally unfeeling? Why do CONCORD and the factions react so rudely when we try to simply fly by? Were they not raised properly or loved as children? It is absolute horsedoodie that pilots who have a higher security status get such an advantage against those of us who have simply killed a few hundred pods that all probably deserved it anyhow. Yea, I said horsedoodie. I really wanted to use another word but I try my best to keep the fucking vulgarities to a minimum on this family friendly blog. Oh... oops.

If you still don't understand what I mean, maybe this video from a famous freedom fighter against racism and unfair treatment can explain the issues more clearly:



Sure he was talking about green and not red and he is a frog and not a pilot and hes a puppet where as we are real fake people in a video game but what does it matter? Deep down he and I are the same. Need more proof? Here is a picture of how Kermit would look if he too was a pirate:

Yesterday, about an hour after I just purchased and fit a brand new Lachesis worth somewhere in the 80 million ISK range, I was scrambled by one of the non-blinky PvP pilots that hangs around in the nearby systems. I was scrambled by his Helios in highsec as I tried to warp through a 0.5 system that was blocking my path between two low security systems with no way around. A recon destroyed by a Helios all because that pilot is too much of a giant vagina to have some balls and fight without the use of NPC sentry guns and/or ships. This mechanic and the fact that I lost a ship in this manner is absolute horsedoodie. Complete and utter horsedoodie. It is ridiculous. Had I been the one exploiting game mechanics to get some easy free kills it would have been fine, because I am me. When these sorts of things are done to me, it is unacceptable and a hate crime against those of the blinky red persuasion.

It is with all of these ideas and recent events in mind that I have decided to form an organization to further the cause of blinky people. I am announcing the formation of the Anti-Blinky Defamation and College Fund Institute for the Advancement of Blinkies League (ABDCFIABL for short and prounced "ab-dic-fee-able"). We are opening our coffers for donations immediately. Please send all donations in game in the form of ISK to our treasurer Spectre3353. All donations will be put towards the cause of fair treatment and consideration for all of those who have a negative security status and have been wronged by the authorities and their lackeys. Stay strong my brothers (and Mynxee). Soon it will be our time (as long as you send money, that is).

13 comments:

Manasi said...

ha ha made me laugh. Live by the sword, die by the sword not good for ya eh? better luck next time mate.

Matthew Gasper said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Josh (GH) said...

My name is Golden Helmet and I support this wonderful cause. Blinkies deserve their fair chance too, we don't deserve to be spit on for walking down the street, or to have to use a separate bathroom from the non-blinkies! WE DEMAND EQUALITY!

Cozmik R5 said...

Yayz! Moar Targetz !!!

:))

Yargok said...

I support your cause!

I have no ISK to fling around, so I´ll do my part by embedding your IMG in my blog. :)

Also, have you not yet learned that the Lachesis is your bane?
Brings you bad luck, stay in the Arazu.

Anonymous said...

what you're really telling us is, python cartel has no industrial base. such a shame.

and, look at it this way: in low-sec, there's added risk for care bears. in high-sec, there's added risk for you scurvy pirates.

Mynxee said...

I'm sorry to report that Spectre3353 has been so overcome with grief at his horrible treatment that he can no longer perform his duties as Treasurer. Therefore, please send all donations to me. Thank you for your kind attention.

Elliya said...

Confirming I will recieve the ISK.

Josh (GH) said...

@anonymous: gee, you think? last I checked, we're pirates, not miners. And like flying fuck we're going to sit around and babysit a bunch of goddamn miners.

That's the whole point of offering a unified corp structure: everybody is on the same page and wants the same thing. We're not 50% pirate, 25% miners, 25% missioners, or some other mixture like that. While this has its drawbacks (i.e., we're usually dirt poor), I've never been in a corp that tried to appeal to multiple player bases that had half the camaraderie that we do. It's just not possible. PvP'ers hate babysitting carebears, carebears hate the ebil PvP'ers that want to kill them, or "fail to defend them" as they mine in the top belt of their home 0.0 when a 100 man blob jumps in. It just doesn't work.

mechajabber said...

I tried to make you a Facebook group, but the name was too long...

Anonymous said...

Drixion supports this cause also, signs petition, and donates care bear tears. And you need to let people know your back, I still though you were swallowed by WOW.

Spectre said...

Drix: I already posted on the Eve forums when I first came back and I do comment on other peoples blogs. I also tend to kill a lot of people in game. I'm not sure how else I would indicate that I am back :)

EVE Agent said...

That picture of red kermit is classic!
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Agent EVE, AFK Gamer

http://eveagent.blogspot.com