Tuesday, May 5, 2009

The Worst Fit Awards

Eve is not a simple game. When you first arrive and are plunged into the ocean of ships, modules, systems, players and how they all fit together it can be... well... slightly overwhelming. One of the most famous Eve related images around is this one describing it's learning curve compared to other popular MMO's:

So yes, Eve is complicated and difficult. When players are unable to fit their ships in an effective or competent manner (especially when they are new players) can you really be surprised or blame them for it? No, not really. But it does not mean that we cannot make fun of them in the most vicious and malicious way possible. So with that out of the way, here is my request:

Post comments in response to this blog entry linking to the killmails of the most awfully fit ships you have seen or been a part of killing. I would really try sticking to larger ships as it is way too common for a newb in a destroyer to have a retarded fit. Give me your battlecruisers, battleships and worse. I will nominate a few of the best entries and we vote one to be the worst fit ship. The pilot of that ship will receive the ultimate prize of a signed and autographed picture of Spectre along with a romantic weeks vacation to the Bahamas with yours truly.

Seriously though... how incredible am I with Microsoft Paint? To start us off, I am going to add a few entries:

Whew, good thing you've got that scan probe rig on there Shinypants. It's really going to help when you turn on your Rails and Missile Launchers and... Beam Lasers? The Passive Targeter is also a stroke of pure genius... those rats will never have any idea what is about to slightly damage them.

Frankly I cannot find anything wrong with combining Artillery and Heavy Missile Launchers with Heavy Neutron Blasters. You need to be prepared for anything, right? Joe backs up this mindset by fitting a 100mm plate, armor repairer, overdrive and intertial stabilizer in his lows. Speed and performance! Who says you can't have your cake and eat it too? Finish things off with a target painter, warp disruptor, ECM, tracking disruptor and ECCM and you know that he's an EWAR expert and ready to definitly-maybe-possibly-but-probably-not disable your ship in the middle of an intense fight. Definitely the type of setup I would see a commando- er... "comando" using. We salute you, Joe.

As bad as this one is, it still is probably the most sane of the bunch. Sure there are multiple types of lasers on a ship with hybrid gun bonuses but at least SOME of the modules in the mids and lows appropriately complement the entire fit. As a reward Natasha, I am going to stop right here and not berate your ship fitting skills any further!

P.S. Natasha, your Rokh fit sucks.

Give Me More!

Surely you can all come up with some stuff even worse than those. Post them below and I will nominate and post the best of the best in a few days.


Scopique said...

Ok, this is not a battleship, not even a battlecruiser, but an Omen worth 128.5 million isk is still not too bad I suppose. http://www.battleclinic.com/eve_online/pk/view.php?type=player&name=Scopique&id=6463314&page=1&filter=kills#mail

Josh (GH) said...

Read and weep: http://www.eve-tribune.com/index.php?no=2_36&page=7

Josh (GH) said...

err, seems that link got cut off, stupid blogspot. lemme try this: Clicky

Cozmik R5 said...

I think my old mates take the cake:


PS: no, this is not a pr0n site... it is truly the Bozo killboard :)

Misaniovent said...


With three types of large lasers, how can you go wrong? Gotta make sure you've got the power to fire them, so why not add a MAPC? And hey, let's make everything faction.

Omgah said...


Luc Sulla said...

How about this guy...maybe not as bad as the guy with salvage rigs, but:


Actipassive Shield Tanked, large lasers (for the PEW PEW), small blasters (for the pew pew), and a cloak for good measure. Let's not forget 30 mil+ of rigs on this bad boy. NOTE: No tech 2 allowed, except for the cloak, kthx.

Yargok said...

I have seen some bad fits, but with this guy its not about fitting badly, he is also stubbornly going into lowsec to rat.. and keeps getting killed.
Was in my GFs corp and they kept telling him to stay out, but he kept giving the pirates their kills!
Click!There we have the passive/active shieldtanked domi, with mixed lazorz and 2 100mm plates!! (zomg)

Yargok said...

Also.. i read on GH´s link to that article about that player.
Look at his losses on Battleclinic..
Holy smokes!

No wonder he has to switch corps every few days :P

Mandrill said...

An active sheild tanked Maelstrom (understandable) but he's mixed his guns (at least they're all the right type for his ships race, although the small autocannon is a bit of a mystery). The clincher for me was the heat sink, there are no lasers on this ship...


Anonymous said...

RokhOfDoomMaybe not one of the worst, but this one stands out in my mind.

Let's see, mixing cruise missiles with medium rails on Rokh of Doom... check.
Mixing shield tank with armor tank... check.
100mm Steel Plates (Seriously, wtf is it with these 100mm plates on battleships!?)... check.
One shield resistance rig... wait, anti-explosive??? I'm no shield expert, but isn't that the highest resist on shields normally?... check.
Salvager, tractor beam... ok, maybe set up for PvE... warp disruptor II. Good, no rats will ever get away from you now.

If I remember right, he was an older player, too. I expected a good fight, all I got was bleh. He smacked in local afterwords, of course. He was due to come back in a carrier any minute... I'm still eagerly awaiting it. :(

Lucretiea said...

Helps if I fill in the name field, eh? Rohk Of Doom was mine... I fail. :(

Leon vanUber said...

I've killed my fair share of LOLfits, but I'll stick to posting only a single one.
How about a shield/armor/structure tanked, 3 kinds of lasers, cargo expanded myrmidon shooting rainbows at me?


Gargamel said...

I honestly thought your latest Mega loss was a bit poorly fit.

Gripper said...

Meegle - sigh....I am not sure why you are wasting your time in these low sec systems when you know the real action is in 0.0

You need to come out and try your hand at what 0.0 has to offer....

Leave the nooblets alone and head out...I can point you in the right direction!

Spectre said...

Garg: I lost two actually in the past couple of weeks... which one do you want nominated?

Gripper: Don't call me by my WoW slave name. 0.0 sounds like it sucks. You should come to lowsec.

Tony "EVE's Weekend Warrior" said...

Haha that Rokh loadout is making me ROFL.

Medium lazors!!! Yea!!!

Owen Hughes said...


Nano-rokh (check the rigs).

Drixion said...


Sometimes you just don't ask why, you just kill them and let the mail speak.

Thorvik said...

I know your contest is over, but I submit this one for your review. :)