Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Your Blog Sucks

I chose that title because it is more succinct than "Please Stop Spamming The Interwebs With Your Boring Crap Because It Takes Traffic and Attention Away From the Truly Good Blogs". Yea that's right, you heard me. The guy who has spammed the net with dozens and dozens of blog posts about blowing up internet spaceships over the past year is calling out all the other Eve bloggers for spamming the web with useless drivel of low quality. Here is a recent snippet from CrazyKinux that provides some insight as to why I feel the need to express myself this way:
CrazyKinux's Musing by CrazyKinux:
You read that right, FIVE HUNDRED PLUS blogs! The actual total is 535, but since some of the blogs aren't active anymore, I'm not gonna be fussy with the actual headcount.
Over 500 blogs based partially or solely around Eve-Online are in existence. Do five-hundred people even play Eve? Maybe, but I can tell you for damn sure that there aren't that many good writers or people with interesting stories in Eve to justify that many blogs. Let's take a look at some of the stuff that people are creating blogs for because they just absolutely have to share:
Disproportionate Reality by Drakan290:

I started out waking up really late, thanks to a failed windsurfing expedition yesterday… I couldn’t get it up (that’s what SHE said), nor could I move forward, every time I’d get on the board with the sail, I’d go straight into the wind until I fell over… Yet, in 8th grade, I was a windsurfing natural; I could just get on the board and go… I guess all that growing up and weight additions really got to me.
Wait... what? That... that's what she said? Maybe this is just a joke and he's getting to the part about explosions and lasers soon:
Disproportionate Reality by Drakan290 (cont):
After about 5 minutes of probing, I finally pinpoint the site, a highsec LADAR site without any clouds – basically a LADAR mining site with RADAR containers… And this is where it gets interesting. I go in to scout out the site cloaked, fully expecting a decent amount of force and to be uncloaked, but not only that, I expected with the 3 other PvEers in local, it would be run. Seems my pinpointing skills, elite frigate and gravity capacitor rigs really came in handy, because the site was too hard for the other three guys to pin down, and I had it all to myself.
That's the interesting part? You probed down a LADAR site? Oh god, my brain. It's melting, I can feel it and it hurts. But wait, I'm sure the PvP is coming. I know there will be battleships and drones and hot chicks in bikinis perched on a yellow Corvette. It's all building up to something that will blow our mind:
Disproportionate Reality by Drakan290 (cont):
I killed the Bulkers and reminded myself I’d need another blockade runner to move the minerals back up to Octanneve for sale, if it did indeed spawn something of value, but it didn’t. All I got was a Tritanium and Pyerite drop. With such a boring day, no gatecamps, no unsolicited NO TR roaming gangs, I called it a night and dropped off of EvE.
That's the end? That? It's like I just went to dinner with a fat chick, paid for her meal and her movie and then she refused to sit on my weener when we got home. Why did you make me sit through that horrible date and then not even give me some fat chick sex at the end, drakan209? You think the internet and blogging is a joke? You just don't do stuff like that to people and expect to get away with it. I will remember this and one day, you will pay.


Oh well, let's move on. Surely there are more quality blogs out there that can make up for that catastrophe. Let's look at the list and choose one at random. Coke and Whores, eh? How could a blog with that name possibly fail. Here is a snippet from the first post:
Coke and Whores by leboe:

Welcome to Podlogs. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start blogging!
What a tease. You get linked to from CrazyKinux, you name your blog something that awesome and then you don't even make any posts? When I check back in a week there had better be at least one new post about coke, whores or preferably both. Oh, and I don't mean the soda-pop type of Coke.


Let's try one more random blog before we totally give up on the universe of Eve blogs:
EveNewb by Spectre:

The fundraising contest will last one week and one week ONLY. Simply transfer as much ISK as you would like in game to 'Spectre3353'. Put 'Pirate Fundraiser' as the subject/reason and you will have done a great deed for a great group of people!
I don't even know how to describe how sad and ridiculous this is. Your blog isn't popular and you aren't a talented writer. What makes you think that you're worthy of free video game money? Why don't you get off your ass and play the damn game yourself and maybe you'll have some ISK to spend. People who create posts like this that beg for money make me want to punch kittens. Well honestly, punching kittens sounds fun regardless of the situation but that is completely besides the point.


This brings me to my point: You don't have to have a blog. Does it seem like everyone else's blog is better than yours? That's probably because they are. We don't need a blog about how you just ran a level 2 mission and we don't give a shit about what kind of dumplings you were eating during that fleet mining op. If you don't have something worthwhile and interesting to post, then don't. Stop spamming this community with your awful crap just because you think you have something significant to provide because believe me, you most likely do not. For every Wensley, Mynxee, Roc and Kirith, there are a hundred Drakans, Leboes and Spectres clogging up the bandwidth and covering all the quality with their loud, obnoxious and useless crap.

Please my friends, this is your chance to help save the Eve Blogging community...

Delete Your Blog

32 comments:

Tony "EVE's Weekend Warrior" said...

Eh eh eh, and for every great ship analyst, there's also a hundred Spector's too ;D

Anyways, you had me laughing once again! Good job!

Cozmik R5 said...

Ha ha ha, nice try :)))

No !!!

C ya in space ... o7

Josh (GH) said...

*makes a blog, just to spite spec*

Vol said...

Wow. You just made my blog look better.

And all without the Wiggles pic.

Ethan Kragstar said...

Haha, channeling the spirit of Maddox the internet pirate there for a bit.

Dexter Tripod said...

Huh? Sorry, did you say anything important after the 'Coke and Whores' picture? I kinda blacked out there. :-P

Mynxee said...

Spec, you're funny! And I don't mean just your looks! But I digress. Bloggers who have something interesting to say and do a good job of promoting their blogs will develop a loyal readership, and deserve to do so. The rest of them--even if there ends up being 5,325 or more--will simply exist far off the scope of possibly everyone's radar except the author's and a few of his or her friends.

OK, Spec, go ahead. Click "Confirm You Wish to Delete This Blog."

*grins*

Latrodanes said...

Hey, what do you know. I just found out I can have multiple blogs on Blogger. "There I was, in my Merlin, racing towards the rocks in Korama, when two rats came out of the sun..."

Seriously, Mynxee hit the nail on the head. I post for myself and a handful of friends. Others can keep on movin' on. So no, not stopping...muhhahhaaa. :-)

Anonymous said...

You first spec.

Ga'len said...

Spec,

Having just updated the OPML download I can tell you that there are a lot of blogs out there now.

With the GameScribe/CCP promotion going on, there will be a lot of blogs created to try to win the contest and then they will die out. It's just the nature of promotions.

With so many blogs out there, there will always be duplication of ideas and various discussions that seem to just go around in circles.

The trick is to see the various viewpoints and the subtle variations out there. That's the enjoyment I find. Take what someone has written and expand on their points, continue the discussion (always give credit to your sources people). That's how blogging can be rewarding, the ongoing discussion on various topics.

Unfortunately, with all the new blogs, we will see what happened to LiveJournal and many other blogging services, the 'vanity blog' that lacks substantial content for whatever reason.

This is also one of the reasons I use an RSS reader to read blogs, only new post will show up. I can save a lot of time using the RSS reader as I don't have to visit all 535 websites. I can go to the website directly if a topic in the RSS reader cathes my interest.

Please don't misunderstand me here. I am not saying that all the blogs are not worth reading. Writing is a skill that only gets better over time. As Mur Lafferty says, "It's okay to suck. Write and suck at it. You have to write and suck as it's the only way you can get better".

:P

Roc Wieler said...

I honestly haven't laughed this hard in a long while.

Brilliant post, and in so many ways, I couldn't agree more.

Yet at the same time, to each their own.

While nobody forces us to read a blog, it can be frustrating if we keep coming across blogs that just simply suck, regardless of the genre.

We each have a story to tell. Sometimes it just takes practice to get that across in an interesting and coherent manner.

Either way, wonderful post. Thank you for mentioning me as one of the "good" blogs.

CrazyKinux said...

Almost made a fool of myself laughing so hard at work! Man, this is a brilliant piece! And I did warn that a lot of them might end up just being "Hello World" blogs.

A major will be needed in a few weeks anyways. We're all looking into getting that done ASAP btw!

This is going into my Speedlink this week for sure!

xiphos83 said...

Thoroughly enjoyed your post. Keep up the great work.

Kyle Langdon said...

Hahaha great post! Though the whole name and shame thing may have been a little harsh it gets the point across.

honsoueve said...

I can see the point you are making in your post. I recently started a Eve online blog and im really committed to it. It's genuinely fun adding content and getting peoples feedback.

Writing what i done today on Eve is something i cant and wont do, I would even attempt to try. Partly because im not creative enough to have a fascinating post about whatever i do in Eve, and more impotently all i do in eve is look at the market screen and grind missions.

Again, great post btw =D

Kai.

pjharvey said...

'Some blogs suck.'

No kidding. Really? Wow.

No, people don't have to blog, but just as equally you don't have to read anything you don't want to.

I hope you don't have such low expectations of other EVE players that you think we can't filter the crap from the good. I'm sure we can all avoid what we find mind-numbing, and I don't see much challenge in finding idiots on the internet to make fun of.

If anything, CrazyKinux could be a bit more active in filtering the blogs he lists, at least skimming them before adding a link to them.

AnMiTh said...

I'm not sure what to say about this post... While I agree that a bunch of "dead" blogs taking up space is annoying, I do not agree with the "your blog sucks" mantra.

In my opinion we all have the right to blog about EVE. If you find a blog boring, or worthless DONT READ IT. But to turn away new bloggers like this... I am very disappointed...

Also, One last thing. The "EVE Blog Roll Lovefest" is meant to be a directory or listing of ALL EVE Blogs, "boring" or not all eve related blogs deserve to be listed. If you want to read only the "best" EVE blogs, that is what the "EVE Blog Pack" is for...

Maybe instead of turning away all these *new* bloggers with a disrespectful, and rude post. Why dont you comment on their blogs, and help them to be better.

Im sorry, but i just cant get behind this idea of turning away new bloggers....

sinkhustla said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Htrag said...

This is the only sucky eve blog I even read... :)

Yargok said...

Aye, I´ll go ahead and Delete it!

But to be serious, I think there are many good and bad blogs out there, but also they are made for different reasons..
Those that suck and the author desperately tries to promote wishing to become a famous blogger, are a pain to read.
But some folks write just to get a creative outlet, even if about something boring I still commend them for doing it and keeping it up.

Spectre said...

I have to agree with pjharvey and AnMiTh. It is awful that you would pick on people for writing about what makes them happy. Blogging is an outlet as much for the blogger as it is entertainment for the reader. If you cannot appreciate that then maybe YOU should be the one deleting your blog. I for one am going to stop reading EVE Newb because frankly, I cannot support your arrogant and sarcastic posts any longer.

Anonymous said...

Spec you're a bad man, how can you criticize the pointless drivel that other people spew all over their blog instead of a private journal that no one else would have the misfortune of finding and reading part of before figuring out how much it sucked. Honestly its their right to post complete shit all over the web and criticizing that is WRONG. Regardless of how untalented, uncreative and stupid someone is they have a RIGHT to blog about stuff no one cares about and you shouldn't criticize them about it, its wrong. You're violating peoples rights, and that's WRONG.

Josh (GH) said...

@ anon guy above (please don't be a pussy, use your name): Using ones right to free speech to tell others that their use of free speech is a hazard to brain cells is violating their rights?

How about books and newspapers? The authors have every right to write what they do, is it wrong to inform them on how much they suck ass?

If you don't get my point, please report to your local Center for Treatment of Retards at 10:00 tomorrow, where a specialist will fix your problem quickly.

Spectre said...

GH: I'm pretty sure that Mr. Anonymous was being sarcastic. Very, very sarcastic.

Erbo Evans said...

You can't fight Sturgeon's Law; ninety percent of everything is crap. But you have to wade through that to get to that small fraction that is, and will be, part of what keeps EVE alive and growing. After all, if everyone just starting out follows your advice, there's no way we'll find the next Wensley, Mynxee, Roc, or Kirith, now is there?

Those that aren't committed will shake themselves out in due time. For now, let a thousand flowers bloom.

AnMiTh said...

Well said Erbo :)

Omgah said...

Haha, I trolled GH.

Omgah said...

maybe GH trolled me!

Josh (GH) said...

>=)

Andrea skye said...

post moar plz

joe said...

The best eve blog ever....

Clown Punchers Syndicate

http://clownpunchers.net/home/

Forget typing, listen to the podcast.

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