My Name Is Spectre, You Stole My Trophy, Prepare To Die!
It had to be a conspiracy. Who could deny that I deserved that keychain more than anyone? I had to take revenge on the one who obviously cheated and bribed the judges to steal away my thunder... just like when I delivered a massive blow to Goonswarm by scrambling one of their friends Abaddons and taking it to 90% armor, I was going to have to hunt down Shae Tien and teach her a lesson in humility for winning the blog banter contest that *I* was supposed to win.
To Evati we went, bringing with us a massive arsenal of cruisers. Ruptures, Vexors, Arbitrators and our most prized jewel, my super-gank-Moa. I spotted my target in local and challenged her to defend herself against my accusations:
[03:07:06] Shae Tiann > hai Spec
[03:07:10] Spectre3353 > HI FRIEEEEENDS
[03:07:16] Spectre3353 > shae i need my 1v1 now
[03:07:24] Spectre3353 > to prove that my blog is better
[03:07:26] Shae Tiann > /emote huggles Spec
[03:07:28] Shae Tiann > lol what
[03:07:35] Spectre3353 > its part of my crusade
[03:07:41] Spectre3353 > bring a t1 cruiser
[03:07:43] Spectre3353 > you and me
[03:07:44] Shae Tiann > everyone knows yours is bedt, dear
[03:07:48] Spectre3353 > mano eh femano
[03:07:48] Shae Tiann > *best
[03:08:07] Spectre3353 > i have to prove it through combat
[03:08:21] Shae Tiann > lol how does that work
[03:08:32] Spectre3353 > dont try to reason with me, i am unreasonable
[03:08:42] Spectre3353 > t1 cruisers
[03:08:43] Kyle Langdon > its like your blogs will be fighting through you guys
[03:08:44] Shae Tiann > /emote giggles
Bollocks! She was refusing to accept the gauntlet I had thrown down! What kind of anti-climatic ending would this be if there was no fight?
[03:09:47] Spectre3353 > seriously shae lets do it, im ready
[03:10:18] Shae Tiann > lol Spec you're being silly
[03:10:38] Kyle Langdon > come on shae! itll be fun
[03:11:47] Spectre3353 > SHAE 1V1 IM WAITING
Finally after what felt like hours, I worked my opponent into enough of a crazed frenzy that she agreed to duel! Man vs Woman. Python vs Hellcats. Blog vs Blog. The surrounding ramifications were astounding. The results of this fight would send a shockwave through the universe and tear down what we thought we knew about ourselves and the meaning of life and how pizza pockets are made. As Shae's Thorax began to land I prepared my Moa and myself for the battle of most epic proportions that was about to begin.
As our ships came together I nearly lost sight of the battlefield behind a massive bright white flash of blasters. My shields caved slowly but stood strong and long enough for me to blast through my opponents armor. With my shields nearing the edge of their power, Shae's Thorax was crippled by an explosion near the silky, throbbing, stiff, shaft-like region near midship.
Victory was mine! I had defended my honor against a horrible conspiracy that had robbed me of my dignity and pride! I proclaimed my victory vocally over the comms. "You are a weird person" was all Shae could muster. I wonder what that means...?
One Final Step
With Goonswarm embarassed and Shae Tien defeated, only one opponent remains in my campaign to cement myself as a legend among legends. The Amarr Navy and all factions associated with it myst be eradicated once and for all. This will take every skill and resouce I have to draw upon but I swear that in the end I will succeed. Onward to victory!
To Be Continued...
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2 hours ago