Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Happy Birthday To Us

Year One

On March 16th, 2009, the second iteration of The Python Cartel was formed. It was initially made up of Golden Helmet and myself but quickly absorbed a large majority of all the pilots who were part of the first corporation in 2008. Today is the first anniversary of The Python Cartel Mark II and it quite amazing to see how much we have grown despite the ups and downs. From almost two years ago when we could barely field a fleet of properly fit T1 cruisers until today when we can barely field a fleet of properly fit T1 battleships. Some fun facts about our swell corporation:

- 9,761 kills (over 13,000 if you include the original corp)

- 1,935 losses (over 3,300 if you include the original corp)

- 43 member pilots

- Over 7,182,930 lines of smack talked (a rough estimate)

As celebration, an operation was assembled to bring a large remote-repair battleship gang to the busy system of Tama to see if we could get into a big, fun fight with our talentless friends in Faction Warfare...


We assembled our gang together and began heading towards Tama:

On our way, one jump out of our destination, our scout noticed an Absolution on a station. He goaded the ship into engaging him and we all jumped in to help. Unfortunately the command ship was able to dock in structure but not before we noticed a Thanatos carrier undocking from the very same station we were engaging on. Realizing that for once we had a force capable of killing a capital ship in short order, we managed to bump him away from dock range and kill his pretty cap-ship:

Oh Noes Piraets!

Monument To A Fallen God

I yawned as we watched him explode. Capital ship kills were getting almost as old hat as T3 kills. We need to start ganking Titans instead.


After our small death-dealing delay, we entered Tama local and formed up on the usually camped Nourvukaiken gate. Several kills were had and plenty of smack was talked to the girly FW pilots in local who as usual, sat in their station and shivered at the thought of coming out for a fight where they didn't have the 5:1 ship advantage.

From Tama local:
[03:34:28] Spectre3353 > once upon a time there was a land named lowsec
[03:34:43] Spectre3353 > lowsec was a wonderful place, full of trees and chocolate and bunnies and chocolate bunnies and naked women with breasts
[03:34:53] Jaxxon Voers > yay breasts
[03:34:56] L4zor R0B0T > can I nuzzle them
[03:35:02] Spectre3353 > then one day evil people from an evil land named faction warfare descended upon the wonderful perfect land that was lowsec
[03:35:13] Spectre3353 > and turned it into a shitty blobfest full of stupid losers who flew failfit rifters fit with lasers
[03:35:17] Spectre3353 > and abaddons fit with small autocannons
[03:35:27] Spectre3353 > and the people of lowsec did say
[03:37:03] Spectre3353 > and the denizins of lowsec did pray to their god, spectre of the 3353rd generation
[03:37:14] Removal Tool > FW runs like a girl
[03:37:20] L4zor R0B0T > does that mean you got podded 3352 times
[03:37:22] Spectre3353 > and spectre did see that his people were virtuous and in need of help
[03:37:33] Spectre3353 > and that the faction warfare members were giant cocksuckers
[03:37:43] Spectre3353 > so he struck down upon faction warfare with all his might
[03:37:55] Spectre3353 > utilizing the mighty holy hand torpedo of anitioch
[03:38:00] Spectre3353 > and faction warfare was smited
[03:38:02] Jaxxon Voers > with a furious vengence ( I love that part)
[03:38:02] Spectre3353 > and there was much rejoicing
[03:38:12] IEATCRAYONS > these words are touching my soul
From Nourvukaiken local:
[03:35:00] Aoa Lux > fascinating! a gatecamp in tama
[03:35:29] Aoa Lux > 13bs, 1 hic, 4bc, and a few carriers on standby
[03:37:08] Aoa Lux >Genosiis Red jumped in despite my warning. He is now -1 drake and just woke up in a station somewhere.
[03:41:05] Aoa Lux > someone from [ibs] (irritable bowel syndrome?) just lost a firetail
[03:42:06] Pussie Galloire > Lol don't jump into Tama


[03:43:01] Aoa Lux > i'm confused. Gallente shitpost on eve forums constantly about not having targets, but they don't engage blinkey camps?Are they roleplayers or something
[03:46:51] Aoa Lux > someone just lost itty5 heh.
One of our victims is a wee bit upset and sends angry mails to Felix:
come alone
From: Divad ysaak
Sent: 2010.03.17 04:12
To: Brick0Joe,

u guys r a bunch of takes17 of u to blow up my about meeting me one on one

Re: Re: come alone

From: Divad ysaak
Sent: 2010.03.17 04:15

To: Brick0Joe,

ok buddy same time thursday...i need to refit my ship,,,and none of those ambush tricks...come clean and ill teach u a lesson or two.

Golden Helmet gets gagged for linking this in local:

You have been gagged by GM Orfeus until 2010.03.17 04:57:09. GM Orfeus's reason was: For using Nazi references.
Sweet screenshots of the gang:

Remote Repping

On The Nourv Gate In Tama

A Blinding Flash

Battleships In Warp

The Abaddon In Its Natural Habitat


Josh (GH) said...

Hooray for out-living Mk.1! And for fielding the fleet that we could only have dreamt of in Mk.1. I think that was our first all-RR BS op.

For our two year celebration, we're doing an all RR BS + capitals roam. IT IS DECIDED.

Jewmare said...

Heil Mein Fuhrer!

Omgah said...

Should of mentioned that GH was a virgin when he started the MKI and still is to this day!

Josh (GH) said...


00sage00 said...

Our RR was extremely uncoordinated (just look at where the reps are going in the pics). >.<

Was lots of fun though. First capital kill for me! \o/

Andrea skye said...

well most of the time, remote repping was due to sentries. Sentries can shoot more than one person.

And faction war are a bunch of faggots. Ive never once seen them engage with equal or lesser numbers.

Agile Nakajima said...

To be fair, faction war fleets tend to be scratch affairs pulled together from whoever is around. Pilots you don't know, many of whom are in all probability idiots who failfit their ships and/or don't have the support skills to fly them properly and/or can't manage to be in the same place as the rest of the fleet at the same time.

There's no way I'd take an equal number of strangers up against something like the Python Cartel - probably drunk and almost certainly obsessing about penis instead of paying attention, but still basically competent and practiced at fleeting with each other.

Mynxee said...

Happy Birthday, Python!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations mate! Happy Birthday to Python!

Lars Lodar said...


I'm sorry I was unable to attend. Although I must say I'm disappointed the fleet didn't die in glorious battle as per GH standards.

So far has everyone come.

f0st3r said...

Posting on a awesome blog.

Latro said...

Happy Birthday. Keep on doing what you do best - making this game ever more interesting.

Apoctasy said...


Kyle Langdon said...

I thought Python was dying?

bluetippedflyer said...

happy birthday faggots

Trillian said...

I met you the other day...hate to say I was a tad starstruck.

Flashfresh said...

Happy Birthday PC!

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday Python!

Nashh Kadavr said...

happy birthday! wish i was there!

Myrhial Arkenath said...

Happy corp birthday!