Saturday, July 10, 2010

Python Vs PlunderBunny

Hulkageddon III Starts

The first Hulkageddon was small. By official accounts, there were 63 exhumers down and barely over 100 total kills on all ships. Targets were plentiful and the ganking was good.

The second Hulkageddon was much bigger. By official accounts, there were over 1200 exhumers down and nearly 1800 total kills on all ships. There were a lot of participants but we still didn't find much competition for our ganks and rarely ran out of targets.

So far, only two days into the third Hulkageddon, nearly 600 exhumers are down and nearly 900 ships have been destroyed. At this rate, the final numbers will be in the thousands but I have to imagine that we will start to run out of targets and the miners will start docking up before it is over. No way could they possibly be this oblivious to the danger they are in.

Right out of the gate, we have been having a bit of trouble finding defenseless targets to gank. Perhaps related to the fact that we now live in the region of the Hek highsec pocket, where exhumers seem to be a bit of a rarity and there also seems to be some stiff competition. After a first night of only taking down two ships, we gathered a few pilots on Saturday night to see if we couldn't contribute a bit more heavily to the barge genocide...

Friday Night's Alright For Fighting

Our first kill was no problem. A Covetor was hardly the most expensive or desirable target but it was only one jump into highsec and sitting defenseless. I tried to imagine in my head that the guy was probably eating bon-bon's and listening to Bette Midler's "The Wind Beneath My Wings" as we dropped out of the sky and turned him into scraps.

Our second kill was a bit more problematic. Five full jumps into highsec to get to him but fortunately he sat there, waiting for us to arrive, even if he did not know that that was what he was doing. It is nothing to be ashamed of. We are all waiting for death in one way or another, my miner friend.

Next, I put my alt in position in Hek to take out a newb in a Retriever. We were only going to send two ships in to guarantee this fella's death as Retrievers have basically no tank at all. I glanced away from my screen to grab another bon-bon... er, beer, when I saw a flash out of the corner of my eye. The Retriever pilot was in a pod? What the fuck just happened? I watched as CONCORD splatted his attacker and I immediately opened a convo to give a good tongue lashing to the pilot that had just stolen our Retriever gank:
[04:31:20] Spectre> WTF MAN I WAS ABOUT TO GANK THAT
[04:31:29] Spectre> I WILL BE REPORTING THIS
[04:31:30] Surfin's PlunderBunny > :(
[04:31:36] Surfin's PlunderBunny > My finger slipped!
[04:31:48] Spectre> you big jerk
[04:31:51] Spectre> i cannot believe this
[04:31:52] Spectre> i
[04:31:52] Spectre> cannot
[04:31:53] Spectre> believe
[04:31:55] Spectre> this
[04:31:59] Surfin's PlunderBunny > I'm sorry! :*(
[04:32:10] Spectre> i will only accept your apology if you tell me a knock knock joke
[04:32:13] Spectre> a dirty one
[04:32:27] Surfin's PlunderBunny > knock knock
[04:32:30] Spectre> whos there
[04:32:33] Surfin's PlunderBunny > Go fuck yourself :)
[04:32:42] Spectre> wait youre supposed to say "GO"
[04:32:47] Spectre> then i say "GO WHO??"
[04:32:54] Spectre> then you say "GO FUCK YOURSELF FUCKWAD!"
[04:32:55] Spectre> and i laugh
[04:32:57] Spectre> lets try it again
[04:33:01] Surfin's PlunderBunny > k
[04:33:07] Surfin's PlunderBunny > knock knock
[04:33:20] Spectre> i dont want any, go away and please dont knock on my door again
[04:33:25] Surfin's PlunderBunny > HA
I decided to let him off with only a warning and we continued on our ways.

Our third kill of the night wound up being another Mackinaw, which ironically had been in the same belt as the last one we killed. He saw what happened to his friend and continued to pull in that ore, undisturbed. I like to think that he was trying to prove a point. Trying to show us that he was tough and refused to be pushed around, even if it resulted in his certain death. Realistically though, I am sure that he was just another macro.

After our third non-Hulk kill, we were determined to finish off the night with the destruction of at least one exhumer that this entire event was named after. We needed to find a Hulk...


It is fun being the pilot that tracks down targets and stealthily lines them up for the kill. All of you miners, you might be sitting in a belt, mining and heading back to the station every few minutes to drop off ore, all while a cloaked pirate alt is watching you patiently. I personally use a Helios, watching my targets from 10 to 15 kilometers away and then slowly creeping to within a few thousand kilometers once it is time to provide the warp in point. It makes me feel like a secret fucking agent in a spaceship. Like James Bond in space or some shit. The part that sucks is that I only get Andrea Skye as my Bond chick.

So finally, with some effort, I was able to locate and provide a warp in point for a Hulk kill that would take us four jumps from our home base in lowsec. As we began to make the trek, I glanced back at my Helios pilot to see if everything was still going according to plan. It was not. On my overview, I saw that name again, Surfin's PlunderBunny in a Rupture, closing in on our Hulk! He couldn't solo a Hulk in a Rupture? Could he???
[05:10:34] Spectre> DONT
[05:10:35] Spectre> DONT DO IT
[05:11:39] Surfin's PlunderBunny > :(
The scare was averted as we landed and pasted the Hulk pilot to a nearby Veldspar asteroid. Even PlunderBunny could appreciate that...
[05:12:34] Golden Helmet > PENIS!!!
[05:12:37] Surfin's PlunderBunny > *claps*


Swooping In

Stalking Our Prey

PlunderBunny Likes To Watch

Calm Before The Store

Catalysts On Parade


Jake said...

aww no wonder they're all hiding in Ashokon and in its regional systems lol

Anonymous said...

4 Hulks, 6 Mackinaws, and an Orca are chilling in Uotila ice field right now. I know the Macks are regulars. Not sure about the Hulks.

Going to make a run on one in a bit.

Dirk Smacker said...

It displeases me to know end that there's a complete lack of outrage from the miners we've been ganking.

Andrea skye said...

I'm better than any Bond chick.

bluetippedflyer said...

There many bond babes, but only 1 andrea skye