Friday, October 26, 2012

YOU ARE A BAD NOB!

Beer #1

My Vexor might be big and beefy but she's still just a child. She has not been exposed to all the terrible things the universe has to offer. So imagine my disdain when I undocked from the station today to find this staring back at my face from just outside the station:



Oh Kerblammo...

But wait! What is this? A Drake on scan with it's pilots name written on it? Time to work my amazing social engineering skills:

[ 00:39:53 ] Spectre3353 > hi girbus.. i was hoping you could help me with a level 3 im trying to finish here
[ 00:40:22 ] Girbus Pexter > where is it at?
[ 00:40:25 ] Spectre3353 > passari
[ 00:40:47 ] Spectre3353 > its one with extra gates inside, there is a battleship rat
[ 00:40:51 ] Spectre3353 > it kept getting my armor down
[ 00:41:46 ] Spectre3353 > are you able to help?
[ 00:42:19 ] Girbus Pexter > i think im going to pass, this ship im in is mostly set up for exploration, not as much the fighting
[ 00:42:32 ] Spectre3353 > ugh ok thats too bad, i just need a little more dps i think
[ 00:42:40 ] Spectre3353 > just one more rat really
[ 00:42:51 ] Girbus Pexter > you scared the shit out of me jumping in like that by the way, maybe next time send the fleet invite first
[ 00:43:01 ] Spectre3353 > jumping in what??
[ 00:43:10 ] Spectre3353 > oh because i sent the invite im sorry
[ 00:43:51 ] Spectre3353 > well if you think you can help me with this one rat just let me know
[ 00:43:53 ] Spectre3353 > im going to keep trying
[ 00:43:55 ] Spectre3353 > thanks!
[ 00:44:09 ] Girbus Pexter > sure thing


No dice.


Beer #3

Mission running in an Ishtar in lowsec seems dangerous. Good thing this guy has the threat of war to deter any scool laddys that might try to cankil him:

[ 02:10:01 ] Golden Helmet > Hi there. If you send me 500m, we'll let you leave with your ship and pod intact
[ 02:10:28 ] Vinssent Nox > i dont have but if yopu attack me you enter in war
[ 02:10:36 ] Vinssent Nox > is the unic time for you
[ 02:10:41 ] Golden Helmet > ok, you die
[ 02:10:46 ] Golden Helmet > we're deccing your corp too
[ 02:10:53 ] Vinssent Nox > ok no is important
[ 02:11:04 ] Golden Helmet > 500m for your pod
[ 02:11:11 ] Vinssent Nox > you dont understand me?
[ 02:11:15 ] Vinssent Nox > you enter in war naw
[ 02:11:17 ] Golden Helmet > 500m or we smash your pod
[ 02:11:33 ] Vinssent Nox > you can kill the pod but ... this attack is war for the new goons
[ 02:11:34 ] Golden Helmet > either you dec us or we dec you, doesn't matter, right now we're talking about your pod
[ 02:11:35 ] Vinssent Nox > jajaja
[ 02:11:57 ] Golden Helmet > 500m or my lemmings get to scoop your corpse, deal?
[ 02:12:05 ] Vinssent Nox > i have clones and 4 acounts
[ 02:12:12 ] Vinssent Nox > you see im scared?
[ 02:12:13 ] Vinssent Nox > hahaha
[ 02:12:15 ] Vinssent Nox > nob!
[ 02:12:15 ] Golden Helmet > that doesn't matter
[ 02:12:24 ] Golden Helmet > huehuehue
[ 02:12:30 ] Golden Helmet > huehuehuehue
[ 02:12:31 ] Vinssent Nox > you are a bad nob... you and your scool laddys cankil me nob
[ 02:12:40 ] Golden Helmet > kk br scum
[ 02:12:56 ] Golden Helmet > also we're gonna send this conversation to your CEO when the dec vote goes through
[ 02:13:04 ] Golden Helmet > k bye huehuehue morde es #1



Beer #6

From the Python Cartel secret forums:
What:
- Part 1: A T1 cruiser roam where everyone fits out a T1 cruiser to be balls out DPS and we run around looking for shit to kill. We will probably roam down the pipe if we can't find anything local.
Additional:
For this op you will need a pimped out super-DPS T1 cruiser AND something that can be involved in a gatecamp (BC/BS/CS/etc). If you need help getting one or both of these things to Passari, please take care of it in the next day or two. You have nearly three days to get this shit together, don't let me down. If nobody shows up to this op and is prepared I will assume PC is dead and cry sadly as I jerk off and then quit Eve again.
Seriously though, don't let me down or I'll hate you all. Just kidding. But seriously.


Beer #11

After a long hard day, we settled down to camp the gate for a little bit. I sipped on my final beer and felt a cool calm wash over me. I kicked my Harbinger into warp and engaged the Drake that had just jumped through with my talentless, smelly corpmates. His name... it seemed familiar...

[ 03:21:19 ] Spectre3353 > hey man can you come help me with this mission still? im still having trouble
[ 03:21:24 ] Girbus Pexter > hello again
[ 03:21:46 ] Girbus Pexter > im good, just got my ass handed to me being an idiot over there anyway
[ 03:21:55 ] Spectre3353 > oh no what happened????
[ 03:22:31 ] Girbus Pexter > oh you know, make a 100 trips in and out of passari with no problem and get lazy, suddenly you jump into a gate camp
[ 03:22:49 ] Spectre3353 > oh gosh that is the worst... do you have another ship you can use to replace your other one???
[ 03:23:41 ] Girbus Pexter > yeah but outfitting it is goiing to be a bitch, just spent most of my money on manufacturing supplies and wont have anymore till the stuff sells
[ 03:24:22 ] Spectre3353 > well im here at the gate in pass, it looks clear and your wreck still is unlooted
[ 03:24:26 ] Spectre3353 > you might be able to come get it
[ 03:24:29 ] Spectre3353 > and not have to rebuy it all
[ 03:24:47 ] Girbus Pexter > lol


Hangover

[ 04:03:19 ] Deryn Angrard > i have never heard of you guys, but you seem like nice group


4 comments:

Andrea skye said...

My tea is vastly superior to your beer, and I dont have a hangover.

Charlie12345 said...

Hi, I just had to say that I started eve a few weeks ago and after reading your blog I was inspired to try a little piracy myself. I've just come out of game after my first successful act of piracy (an Iteron in high sec, can flipped him :D, dps'd to structure, ransomed, he declined, boom! Looted a Miner II for 450k ISK!) and I have NEVER felt adrenaline like it before! It's a pirates life for me from now on, thanks for the inspiration! Keep up the good work! P.S. One question from a newb: How do you manage to fund your pirate lifestyle once you're banished to low sec? Is it purely from ransom/looting? Cheers

Spectre said...

Hey Charlie. I'm glad you had fun ruining someones day! As far as funds, I am still mostly living off of a chunk of money that I made scamming before they made scamming more difficult. Other than that I make a little bit from wrecks/ransoms and I used to have an alt that I would do missions with or rat with. In general it's pretty tough to survive on just a pirates salary but it's not impossible. You just have to be very dedicated to flying cheap ships with cheap fits and squeezing every penny out of your victims that you can.

Groggolog said...

wow, didnt know you python cartel lot were still kickin about, good that ya are.